Dancing With Myself

[redhottie]

Basically the T session was an hour of hE11. The T started by asking H what has been going on since we haven't talked to her in 1 1/2 months. H said nothing has changed, he is still done and still wants a D. I agreed that nothing has changed, but he hasn't done anything to move towards a D. H said he wants to tell the Ds before he files. However, he didn't seem to be in any hurry to tell them. H thought we should ease them into it. The T and I both agreed that they have been hurt enough and there will be no easing them into to.

H said he has been bouncing from place to place. H has been waiting for a friend of his to move so he can move into his house. I said if he had his own place that would help the Ds deal with things. H basically blamed me for him not having a place. He said I have the Ds worried about money and that is why he hasn't gotten a place. He agreed that he will find a place instead of waiting for his friend to move.

H still insists that he tried working on the R in the past and wanted professional help. He said I refused(I don't remember that) and that it is too late now. He won't forgive me because he says there is nothing to forgive. Basically he says we haven't been happy in a long time and there is nothing to be done about it now.

H still refuses to acknowledge that his EAs in the past and now are anything more than friendships. He also tried to say they I talk to my friends at work in a day as much as he talks to his friends. I said no, I don't talk to them for hours on end. Oh, and he was very pissed off that I dared to try calling them in the past.

I pointed out that H wants a divorce but he continues to drag this out. I said he seems to want me to live my life in limbo. The T asked H if he has seen a lawyer yet and he said no. Then she turned and asked me to which I said I have seen one. I was looking at her so I didn't get to see H's reaction. She asked how that went and I said he told me basically the same things that my friends and T have been telling me. I said that I will probably have to be the one to file.

The T doesn't think at this point we are capable of telling the Ds about the D without saying mean things about each other. I said my biggest problem is though I realize we will be getting a D, I don't agree with the reason. H wants one because he is done and doesn't have the balls to work for love. I want one because I am not willing to live this crappy life the rest of my life.

The T wanted to see us back in a week or two. H said two will be better.

I did make it known that the Ds are not dealing with this well. I brought up that H is still not talking to them and they are afraid to talk to him. I also brought up how they felt guilty about having fun on vacation without him. I told the T and H that the Ds seem to think that H moved out because I forced him to. Hopefully H listened to me and he will start to get a clue.

One surprising thing is that H actually shed a tear.