All settled in 250 miles apart

[JWS]

I have to say NO WAY, I know I should not have read them either but to hear her saying things that long ago that she still feels today give me a different understanding to "you have ruined the last 12 years of my life” I know that there is a lot of hurt and anger in that statement but now I know that it comes from feelings that have been there a long time.

I know that right now we are in a place where words from me won’t change a thing, but if there was a way to plug our hearts into one another I truly believe we would find the respect, understanding and love that we could build a lasting M on. Some how she needs to see that on her own without me trying to convince her of that.

She needs to see that my failures were just that, failures not malice. I also need for her to come back into this marriage on her own. There is no way I can ever go back to watching her pretend. There is a fantastic song by Jypsi called “I don’t love you like that” that totally expressed everything I feel. I warn you however it’s a tearjerker.

I really do see now, that Time is what she needs, even though that has been what she has been saying all along. I hope and pray that 12 years of love and devotion is enough that when she finds who she is she will want that part of her live back, but if it’s not I will move on without hating her.