grrr!!! same thing happened here, and I confronted stbx in a calm way, letting him know that telling kids not to tell me something will backfire as in the future they might keep stuff from both of us (for whatever good it might've done to that thick head of his)
Do tell your kids that there are no secrets between you and them, I dont' see why not, I todl s10 that it wans't tattleting on dad, that if their safety was compromised I needed to know.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
