Yes it can be difficult to be her friend, but for our children - I am doing what is best in my case....for now.
At times, I want to just deal with her as a business partner, but it is hard because.....Our children our priceless, I don't see them as material property....not to say what you are doing is wrong...I just don't see myself at this point doing that....I know I should considering what I had to deal with this Sunday after I dropped off our children:
I dropped off our children this past Sunday afternoon. I didn't stay long as DB indicates you should do. After I left, I called her about 1hr later indicating what was going on with our girls....I told her that our oldest had a booboo on her knee, and that was it.
Later after 4hrs later, she calls me and pratically yells out the following "Where is K....underwear!?"...I replied - "I'm sorry, should have told you earlier...K... had a potty accident...underwear was very messy". exW interupts and says "What did you do with it!? Throw it away or do you have it!?. I reply with - "Keep the one she has now"....she replies with "THAT IS NOT THE POINT!?...and then just hangs up...OUCH!
5 minutes later - exW calls back "What did you do with I....underwear". I reply with "Isn't she wearing underwear, I asked her to wear a new pair". ExW replies - "Please return our children with the clothes that you pick them up with, I can't afford to keep buying them new ones everytime"...I reply with a "OKAY"....and she just hangs up.....OUCH!
So, yes I may just have to just consider being business like at times, but I just want to act "AS IF" when I contact her, be friend for now....ONLY for our children sake. I want them to one day say, "Considering what my mom did to our family, and to my dad....he kept being her friend.".
As for the jealous feeling, I guess I still do.....I feel like I was lied to for over 13yrs...meaning what bonded us together for those amount of years.....convience, sympathy, being comfortable...what was it....
After I found that email - I was shocked, my trust went down hill from there. She blames me for every little thing....which I have admitted to the abuse....but hey, what about her...
I still have feelings for her that is true, I know that we are divorced, and what ever she is doing is her business, but man, she could have been honest with me and just said "Hey, I know that we have been together for awhile, but I have been talking to someone or seeing someone." then her and I could have not fought so much in court for custody of our children.....50/50 would have been easier, rather than go through a 2 to 3yr court hassle.....so yes, I am jealous, angry, hurt....mainly I feel backstabbed. Normal feelings.
I just don't understand why she could have not just considered a separation..... I am sorry, just going on and on in a tangent....just trying to get past it. At times, I guess I loved her more than she loved me.
