Thank you for helping me see things clearly. I will look into some temporary medicine for this time....or maybe wait until after retrouvaille?????
I see what you are all saying. How do I go about this? Does a counselor prescribe them? I haven't seen a counselor for over a year and I dont think I could just call her and get some....she would want to see me and she is the one that thought H and I should separate anyway...not pro marriage. I could contact my family doctor but she doesn't know anything about this and would require an office visit. I just saw my gyno...would she prescribe something like that? She knows of my situation because I had the whole std testing to make H feel better.
Update....not much new.....went shopping, bought new jeans (2 sizes smaller than my smallest jeans....dont think I've ever been a size 4 before, stress and depression is the best diet in the world), then met a friend out for drinks. Ended up seeing some old high school friends at the bar that I haven't seen since they came to my wedding over 12 years ago. It was nice. H is still camping with S. We texted each other often and he is coming home for dinner tonight and then we are all going to the fireworks together.
Hon, you can get anti-depressants from your dr. Sometimes they can give you samples. They will want to monitor your reaction. Mine saw me once a month. I think it is best if you start using them now. It takes a week or so to start feeling more like normal.
Please give them a try. I have all the faith in the world in you. Happy 4th.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Don't wait for anything, other than an appointment, probably if you are LUCKY next week. Retro is a time to learn and think clearly so why would you wait?
Depending on your insurance my experience is you want to find a psych Nurse Practitioner who specializes in psych meds. Many MDs don't have the time to know psych meds as they need to so just prescribe what they THINK works and these all work differently for all folks. NP's are the folks who really specialize and write RX. Cigna has a website that allows you to hunt for specialists in your area. Then when you go you are HONEST and say "my marriage has been in jeopardy and I want to be able to face that and do the best work I can."
But get on it Monday morning so that you can get an RX in hand asap. It might take a while to work or it might take "tweaking" to find the right drug for you. You could ask either counselor, MD or gyno for referrals to someone who specializes.
I have a shovel and I'm not afraid to use it. Stubby
I can understand your hesitation to use what you call "happy pills." I had that same feeling most of my life. I grew up in a vegitarian home. My mother doesn't believe in medications. She won't even buy asprin!!! I didn't get asprin until I was an adult. I can go on and on about my ultra-healthy upbringing (which was a good thing)... as a matter of fact, I kind of live this way too.... I shop at Whole Foods, buy organic milk, look closely at the ingredients of my cosmetics, etc...
But when a person is clinically depressed, self-medicating with an affair, alcohol, drugs, etc... is not exactly healthy. Compared to these forms of self-medication, a low dosage of anti-depressents would probably be much healthier and more effective. If you are serotonin deficient, just trying to think depression away only goes so far. You might improve it a little, but if your body needs it you are better supplimenting it. And the easist and most effective way is anti-depressants. And it can be a low dose and temporary. Just to help you during a very difficult time of life.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Don't wait to go get the AD's. They take up to 10-14 days to reach the theraputic level. If you think you need a low dose, go get them. I did them for about 10 months and am very glad I did. Any MD can prescribe them, so most likely your counselor cannot do it.
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
Gosh, I found they helped almost immediately. I called it my "serotonin high"!
I don't mean to say I felt drugged in any way. It's just life just seemed so much better!!! The "edge" is gone. Of course, that initial serotonin surge has abated and I just feel so even and rational. I'm only on a very low dose, but I must have really needed it. I don't have the stronger emotional ups and downs that used to plague me. I'm more in control of my emotional state. Also, because it's a low dose I think it's a combination of the AD's with my own positive thinking.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Thanks everyone. Haven't called the doc yet, but will.
Retrovaille is in 11 days. The lady called and left information for each of us. We so need this. I had a long talk with H about our relationship. I asked him to not sleep with me anymore. It sounds like a backstep, but I am hoping it is a babystep in the RIGHT direction. This non-relationship that we have has gone on too long. We both agreed that we both have to WANT to sleep together and have more feeling and meaning to it. So, we will do all that we have been doing, but when it gets to "sleep time" he is going to sleep in the spare room. I don't know, I just can't take this sleeping together every night with no meaning. It's making it worse.
The weekend was ok. I did lots of shopping which is never a good sign because it means I am not with my family...avoidance. I had lots of headaches and stomachaches, especially when home. I layed down a lot. The best part of the weekend was going to the fireworks together. My S was sooo happy which makes me sooo happy.
