Wow today is just blah! Have to much time to think and it is driving me crazy! Everyone is gone, my kids flew back to Nebraska today so my helpers with my sanity are gone for 18 days
The more I start to think about stuff the more I think that the W is with OM! Today I got the vaccuum cleaner and found a note to her about meeting up at room 208 at the Marriott! Saw this transaction on the account some time back in June. Now she is in Cali and went to Disneyland with "friends" but has yet to pay for anything...what a nice guy! Maybe I am reading to much into things, but to me this sounds like se found her happiness with OM. I don't even know what to do anymore!
Any thoughts on what I should do, should I approach her about the note I found or should I just leave it be?
Wow today is just blah! Have to much time to think and it is driving me crazy! Everyone is gone, my kids flew back to Nebraska today so my helpers with my sanity are gone for 18 days
The more I start to think about stuff the more I think that the W is with OM! Today I got the vaccuum cleaner and found a note to her about meeting up at room 208 at the Marriott! Saw this transaction on the account some time back in June. Now she is in Cali and went to Disneyland with "friends" but has yet to pay for anything...what a nice guy! Maybe I am reading to much into things, but to me this sounds like se found her happiness with OM. I don't even know what to do anymore!
Any thoughts on what I should do, should I approach her about the note I found or should I just leave it be?
Ted
Ted...
As distractions help in being able to keep your mind off of things only you can truly control your thoughts. So get out and do something, call up some buddies and go out and give it a rest for awhile.
"Maybe I am reading to much into things" Dude take it from me the king of assumption you will only make things WORSE if you go down this cheeseless tunnel. Who knows who the note is from you need more than a note to confront W, ask yourself will doing this bring me closer to my goals or will it take me further away? Stick the note somewhere where only you know, take a step back and see what happens with W. Has she contacted you at all?
As it goes around here give it the 48 hr rule and as I say don't 'react' but 'act' of your own accord. Don't do things out of emotion get your head clear my brother...
Get some good rest go out a GAL like I said to you before take this time that everybody is away to really take a break from it and do some good work on yourself. You can do this I have faith in you...
Well I need to quit reading into all of this but the fact remains there are several things that point to her being with another man. I am just going to act "as if" as much as I possibly can and avoid bringing this up to her.
She did contact me this morning and asked about the kids and if I have talked to them. I was still upset this morning so the conversation was very one worded by me. I just gave simple answers and showed no emotion, it probably came across as me being pissed and I admit I was. I handled the whole conversation wrong in the fact that I did sound pissed but the short answers I think was the correct response.
Well I need to quit reading into all of this but the fact remains there are several things that point to her being with another man. I am just going to act "as if" as much as I possibly can and avoid bringing this up to her.
She did contact me this morning and asked about the kids and if I have talked to them. I was still upset this morning so the conversation was very one worded by me. I just gave simple answers and showed no emotion, it probably came across as me being pissed and I admit I was. I handled the whole conversation wrong in the fact that I did sound pissed but the short answers I think was the correct response.
That is all you can do brother stay your course for yourself & your kids. No emotion it's tough not to let 'our' feelings show through, but you must find it within yourself to take the higher road, stay true to yourself and your commitment you will come out a better person for it. The way you were feeling short answer were probably best for the time being. AS long as you weren't short or curt you probably didn't do to much. Regroup take a breathe get some rest, try and turn off your mind, easier said than done but you must. You can do it.
I agree with RF. One little note is not much to go on. But I understand how it makes your mind go. Its tough when these little things pop up and start your mind going down the wrong path. Happens to me all the time.
Sorry you're down. I'm there with you. Don't know if you read my updates but contact with my W was pretty good the last few days. I saw some improvements but for some reason its just brought me down. I did nothing today except watch that 7 hour Wimbledon match and read a little. D was just doing her own thing, thank god. No energy today....so down.
So I'm there with ya. I see you are going to have some tough times with the kids gone so definitely post here and vent and share when you can. Stay strong.
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
Well I also found a receipt for some stuff she bought before she left on the 3rd. It was for 3 packs of condoms, massage oil and a few other things. This only leads me to believe she is with this other man. I have stopped snooping and don't care what she is doing. But I was helping my daughter clean the house before she and my S were leaving on the 5th. My W likes to keep all her receipts so I was picking up all the bags from the clothes she bought and was taking all the receipts out so she could save them, thats when I stumbled across it. I don't care what she does anymore, it hurts like hell but I am going to be a better me for myself and for my kids! That is all I can do and hopefully she will come out of her fog!
I think the reason we have been getting along so well was to make this easier on her and me. That is my thinking maybe I am wrong. She is so deadset on getting this D, but I don't understand why she is dragging her feet. It is so frustrating to not know but maybe that is a blessing not knowing.
It is hard for me to go and GAL because I just don't have to many friends out here and have no family what so ever here. I don't have to many people to talk to and it is frustrating. I don't even know where to go to meet people. I thought when I went to the bar that I would actually try to pick up a woman. The more I thought about it the more I became disgusted! I don't see how she can do it so easy, and not have any second thoughts about it! To me since we are still married I consider it an affair and morally wrong!! Obviously she has no morals and no care in the world for anything but her greedy ass!
I am so digusted right now that I don't even want to speak or see her. With the kids being gone for 2 weeks I figured I would go totally dark and have no contact with her. I will see if she calls and go from there. What reallypisses me off is that she will do all of this and make my D watch my son so she can go party it up with her "friends", if this is the lifestyle she wants then she can have it. The more this goes on the more I think she is having a MLC. None of what she does makes any sense and the way she acts is totally out of character for her. I don't know how she can do this weekend after weekend and not feel any guilt for leaving the kids behind so she can have her fun.
As you can tell I am extremely mad right now and venting away! I hope that when she goes to court for her DUI that they give her jail time in tent cty, maybe that will wake her dumba$$ up. If any of you know what tent city is you will know, if not google tent city with sheriff Joe Arpaio here in Phoenix. She deserves to go to jail and suffer for a bit!!!
Anyways enough of this just had to get this off my chest!
AD I have been keeping up with yours just have not posted much, will get to you tomorrow after I cool off a bit!!
Well I also found a receipt for some stuff she bought before she left on the 3rd. It was for 3 packs of condoms, massage oil and a few other things. This only leads me to believe she is with this other man.
I would say that's a good sign that it's happening.
Quote:
I think the reason we have been getting along so well was to make this easier on her and me. That is my thinking maybe I am wrong. She is so deadset on getting this D, but I don't understand why she is dragging her feet
Lots of them do this. They want to remain friends.
Why is she dragging her feet. Because she is having her cake and eating it too. That's why..She has a frinedly relationship with you..she's getting what she wants on the side. You're there for her..she's "cake eating".
Well I guess my questionis should I confront her with this. I just want to tell her that I am not going to be a doormat that she can just walk all over! I do love my W, but these actions are disgusting and I will not stand for it not only on my part but what she is doing to our family!
I am desprate to know how to go about this. Or should I just ride the storm and go dark and see if anything changes?
I'm so sorry you had to find that out. Honestly, our WAWs seem very similar right now. In fact, after our "friendly" weekend I've decided I want no more contact with her because I know OM is still in the picture. I was afraid of what your W was doing and it turns out to be true. I haven't said this in a while (even to myself) "believe none of what you hear". Its so true that it scares me.
I know I would confront her, although I don't think its a wise thing to do. I've confronted my W everytime something comes up during this period and looking back none of it helped. And recently both of us have joked about "bf or gf". She knows I've been talking to OW and she knows I reverse cheated (just made that up) so I'm know saint in this either.
You are right about the doormat thing. I think you need to confront her but in a rational frame of mind. Tell her that you know what she's doing and you can't be "friends" to her while this is going on. She is getting her cake and eating it to.
Again I'm sorry you found that out. I know it was accidental but I now try harder to avoid finding anything out. I didn't want to reach under her couch the other day when D dropped something, just in case I found something.
Take a day or two to cool off before you react to her.
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
Man I am sorry you found the receipt, at this point you are right quit snoopin will only make it worse. Give it the 48hr rule don't 'react' but 'act' on your own accord. Let your emotions calm down some.
Mike is right she is cake eating and you need to lay down some boundaries and stick to them.
