For example, if there's a tantruming toddler in a store, one could suggest that the mother (i.e., the LBS) give in to the toddler (the WAS) and give him the desired object (OW) to quiet him and end the tantrum (depression, low self-esteem, you name it). But we all know what would happen ==> more tantrums in the future. There tons of data backing that pattern up.
Perfect analogy Gabe!
Sometimes I have to remember that having gone through this I am somewhat jaded and the truth is that every person and relationship is different. We also need time to process, so I think that giving a pat answer can sometimes not only be cruel but flat out wrong.
Putting one life on hold and doing the same things over and over nets the same results, Michel wrote about this and we all know it. I don't like telling anyone how to live there life and I hate when people get on their high horse and gang up on posters. You can suggest if asked but basically I think it's most important to give support. Who's to say that what someone else is doing to survive is the wrong way. We're all just doing the best that we can.
Most times if these situations do reconcile themselves it takes a very longtime. In the meantime while we're supporting other posters, they are finding their own strength, which is something (no matter how hard we tried or how badly we want to) we can't give to them.
