So here I am. Move over from newcomers where I met so many wonderful friends and eventually took a break from posting. Still lurking there a bit and staying a top old pals threads. Many of us are all in the same big boat over here on the "Divorce Cruise" as I am calling it.
Anyway, just felt I needed to start posting again as I was starting to get caught up in the whoa is me crap that can happen from time to time. Reading some of the threads here have given me a few laughs, a tear or two and some real insight into what others are going through and know that I am not alone.
Just wanted to make myself known over here and toss out my nickels worth if I feel it can be of any use and of course would like they same.
Currently my STBX and are in the awful holding pattern of D. State of MA requires parenting classes and a certificate before they will even consider you for a court date so i am waiting...it feels like an eternity of waiting for the donkey (STBX is nickname) to get his so we can proceed.
Anyone, having dealt with a D in MA know how long these local probabate courts may leave me dangling for a final court date once we get these stupid certificates to them? This was the final peice of info which the donkey proclaimed he didn't know he needed...
Thank you in advance for any imput. Sorry we are all here.
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
Well I'm from Cambridge but got myt divorce in Illinois so I can't help you there, but I gotta tell you I don't think divorce in any state is a party. So sit back, relax, and pour yourself a cold one cause this is gonna happen when it happens.
I hope that you find some friendship and answers here. You'll find many great people who don't mind having their brain picked, and on Monday's we have jello wrestling!!!
No he is past stalling. Finally got all of his paperwork together, with the exception of the parenting class cert, which he will have in hand tomorrow and a W-2 from last year that he was "looking" for...he found it awfully quick when I told him I would just bring the tax return instead.
I still have the "New Car" guy around, still smells new but I am still kicking the tires No need to commit until the last "clunker is paid off" if you know what I mean. See there's a little soon to be divorced humor for us.
Turns out his little change of tune had more to do with his last GF dumping him and a few financial bumps that he would have been able to handle had there been two incomes instead of one. Purely selfish motivations, never really had anything to do with actually wanting to put our M back together. He was never on board with doing any of the personal work he needed to do so...to hell with him.
But now he has a new GF and Mommy & Daddy bailed him out of financial jam so he has lost any interest in me. THANK GOD! I don't need to second guess my decisions at this point. My gut told me leaving was best, and although I had doubts I am sure I made the right decision now as his actions continue to prove he has done nothing to change.
He is back to no doubts, no regrets etc.
Ironically I just found a bottle of wine with a special label from our wedding day that I had been saving, now I know when I am going to pop that sucker open...to toast to our divorce. Goodbye and good riddance. My we both find better mates to suit us.
How are things with you? Sounds like your H is still laying it on thick?
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
hey there, welcome, hope the blues are on their way out, (just coming out of them too), with God's blessings, those sad times will be farther apart and less damaging.
You just reminded me of the bottle of champaigne I found, which I bought for our 10th anniversary, ummm, still sitting there, unopened, I use it to roll our dough for cookies I make with the kids, lol!
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Well I got my final court date. In two more weeks I will be divorced. Funny how the finality of it stirs of up all sorts of feelings. I was surprised at how relieved I was to have a firm date. But I am also more surprised at how I keep going over every little detail of the M in my head and wondering about different scenarios. Thinking back to the last time we were happy and trying to pin point what could have been done differently. Its torturous. I have found at least half a dozen things that could have contributed to the downfall and had we recognized that or made a different decision maybe we wouldn't be here. But the one thing that I had no control over, was how he changed. How he didn't want to fight for the M, how it would always have to be on his terms.
Oh well. Can't turn back time and can't re-write the past.
Got to keep on moving forward...
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
I have been divorced almost a month. But for some reason its hitting me hard now. I have been changing my name back to the maiden on all sorts of accounts and documents. Weird but I don't feel like that maiden name person anymore, but I certainly don't feel like Mrs.Ex-Husbands name either. Somehow I feel like a failure since I am a divorcee.
My DD5 started school this week. EX-H has not shared the school notices with me in a timely fashion and I missed the PTO startup meeting and did not know that she was supposed to have show and tell today. We have shared custody and we are supposed to make a photocopy of the docs and share with each other. This obviously didn't happen like it was supposed to. Minor I guess, in the grand scheme of things. Just not how I pictured this playing out.
I have been seeing the same guy for the past 9 months or so and he wants to move it together. We have gotten serious and I finally introduced my daughter to him after keeping the two parts of my life separate this past year. I am skeptical because I never was looking for LTR or anything serious it seems to have just happened. Now I have fallen in love with this man and he really is great/wonderful etc but I don't trust myself. I made such a poor choice in marrying Ex-H how do I know I am not making another mistake with this guy? I am so confused. Plus he thinks my child is a terror. I tend to agree. Her father lets her run wild while he is with her (50% of the time) and I spend most of my time trying to correct bad, bratty behavior. I have talked to the ex-h about this adnauseum with no changes.
Also, ex-h has already burned through 3 girlfriends in the course of the last year and with this latest one tells me he thinks this is "it" and they will be getting married and having more kids soon. He laughed about beating me to the alter...I didn't think this was very funny...not quite sure why he would think thats an accomplishment?
Just had to vent. I feel sick. Don't know why. I should be happy to rid of verbally abusive and uncaring spouse but I don't feel that great.
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
I will def let the school know. They don't email stuff though, they send in the this folder that gets returned to school. Worth a try though.
I am def in no rush to move in with the new guy. I guess I am just really caught off guard to have found someone and have developed serious feelings so soon. It seemed like because I wasn't looking for anything serious thats what I got. Not complaining about him per se just have no faith in myself right now. KWIM?
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
No need to commit until the last "clunker is paid off" if you know what I mean. See there's a little soon to be divorced humor for us.