Rob #9 - Don't Stop Believin'

[Rob1231]

Hi SD,

I think it might be good for you to ponder the question of why your W leaves it to you to make plans...because there was the tiniest hint of resentment-ish in your comment about "is there no satisfying this woman?!" Or maybe not.

Well, actually, the "issue" isn't quite like that....

W is the Big Planner in the family - for example, for the last few days, she's had the calendar out and is busily trying to fill in every single weekend with fun things to do, through the end of the fall.

Now, I am also (for a guy!) something of a Planner With A Capital P. However, when faced with that sort of over-the-top, plan-every-minute behavior, it's very difficult to "compete". So, for years, I tended to throw in the towel and just let her do the planning... only to be complained at I didn't do enough to make plans. My approach now is to try to find a happy balance - chip in with suggestions and help plan where I can (or occasionally just take matters into my own hands, ala the Vegas trip), while accepting that I can never really get "ahead" in this game.

I wouldn't have said "resentment", but just maybe a little bit of "frustration". But not a HUGE FREAKIN' deal, just one of those places where ya gotta figure out how to agree to disagree in a way that leaves everybody content.