If there's anywhere to turn where the people know EXACTLY what you are feeling...it's HERE.
Your H is in a mode that I've seen personally as well as on the BB over and over again. He's rationalizing his stance, he's shifting blame onto YOU, (a natural if totally UNFAIR practise). You may hear about things that seemed "minor" to you at the time, but are now monumentous to him. Patterns that WERE destructive (we all have to own some of those) will be made to seem as permanent parts of who you ARE. NO, NO, NO!!!
This is perhaps the cruelist time, but also the one with GREAT potential for growth. Right now you can only control how YOU respond to this information.
So read it, go at your own pace. Realize that some of it has the ring of truth...lessons learned or to learn...lot's of it is a re-writing of the past to suit the present .
Take what wisdom there IS there, and let the rest go with the knowledge that MUCH of it is HIS issues.
The ONE thing that I would NOT let go when CJ dropped Bomb #2 and was ready to take off across country to be with OW ( ) was the issue of of NOT having had a real chance to work on our M. NO second chance for me.
I asked CJ (who is a good person) if he could live the rest of his life in peace making this decision? (To leave in this fashion...abandonment basically).
After much soul searching and OW purging, he admitted that it was not. So we agreed to no more than giving US some time. No guarantees. No certainty. Just that last chance. It paid off for us (so far )...I wish the same for you.
.
)...I wish the same for you.
