Quote: I think one of the things that hurts the worse, is that I was never given a 2nd chance to try to work on our M. From what he writes, he believes this started way before he left, which I do agree, but if you're really unhappy about something, don't you try to talk about it first?
Hi JL. Sorry that you are going through this. I know that it has been very hard on you lately.
I have often thought the same thing that you did. We did deserve a second chance--or at least to know what was wrong. It hurts that after so many years they didn't feel that they could talk to us about what they were feeling. To us it's like they just walked away without trying. To them, I am sure they felt they tried. I sure didn't see it.
It's good that your H is enlightening you with his feelings. At least he is communicating in his own way. I am still in the dark. But I know that this doesn't help you right now--but in time it may give you some insight into why he felt the way he did.
Don't contact him when you are emotional. Read your letters with an open mind and an open heart. Don't get defensive--and hear what he is saying to you.
Understand that he may blame everything on you. That's easier for them. And know that you cannot control him or what he does. Just your reaction to him.
Hearing someone you love say these things to you is very painful, and it will take a long while for you to pull your PMA back up. You know it is up and down. Mine has been very down this week too.
