Hi JL, Yuk, you are in a really bad place at the moment. I know I have been there (twice!). You are right to lie low for a while and work on you.
I think your H's little gifts are a positive sign. He knows he's done wrong- you've told him in no uncertain terms. And he knows it for himself anyway.
When H moved out and was having PA it took me awhile to get centred again and start doing things for me, but the real difference happened when I started to acknowledge my part in it. Once I woke up to what I had done (and that was very painful), things started to come together. Get all your anger towards him out of your system by any means you can - punching things is good - LOL.
You mention best of both world's - my first post was called Having his Cake and Eating it Too (on newcomers) because I felt exactly the same way. This DBing is HARD. Here's a hug ((((JL)))). Pick yourself up, dust yourself down, and keep going along that rocky road.
Take care
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
