Thanks Shiny for posting, I love your insight and your great sense of humor!

My H is the master of vague statements. The last we talked about his "friend" he hadn't spoken to her in "awhile". When I tried to pin down how long that was he said about a week, in a defensive tone. I have always talked to him about this "friend" very calmly. Have never called her names, but have made snide comments and assumptions about the relationship. He says there friends, this weekend confirmed to me it is more. Why would she be looking into vacations if he's not shown interest in her? This confirmation is what has made me truly deal with the enormity of his betrayal.

The other portion of this whole thing is that what he's doing now with the OW is how he and I started. We were OP's with each other when we got together, we were both married to other people and both divorced to get married. I thought we would be different. He is showing a definite pattern, which I have pointed out to him. Now I guess it's up to him what he does with it.

I would love to hear the whole story, if it meant he was remorseful and wanted to end it and try to get us back together. Not sure if that's going to happen. I did tell him that if he doesn't know how he feels for me, then being with OW isn't certainly going to help that out. He actually agreed. But that's about all he does, is agree with the things I say but does nothing about them.

I do believe that it will take me awhile to get centered again. I am planning on avoiding all contact with him for awhile, which I'm guessing won't be hard because he'll be avoiding me just as much. Maybe once I've calmed enough and get myself detached from this a bit more I might be able to talk to him again.

This love stuff really sucks sometimes, doesn't it? But venting on here has definitely helped. I'll be here often I'm sure over the next few weeks venting and trying to find all the million pieces that go to my heart puzzle that just got dumped on the floor!

Life is not measured in the breaths we take, but in the moments that take our breath away...