She was so hostile, it was like a whole other person. She was
mean, cruel and just brutal.

She did complain about a lot of stuff and I did learn some
things that bothered her in the past that I had no idea
even bothered her. She should have told me at the time, but
now she resents me for it because she dwells on all this past
hurt.

Some things she said -

"When I saw I was gambling too much I stopped myself. I have
not been there in a while" (lying)
About OM - "I didn't mean for it to happen it just did"
"I made a big list of things and you were not there for me
in the past through most of it. I needed that emotional support"
(who knows what kind of list it was, but I'm sure it was filled
with mostly negative stuff if she is saying that)
"Do you think I like asking for money, do you know how that
makes me feel?"
"I have to go work in a restaurant now because of this, how
do you think I feel about that?"
"I have two dogs to take care of too and I can't even afford
food for them. I wish you would just take one"
"I'm happy now that we're apart, this is the best thing for us"

I told her I felt we were making a huge mistake and that I didn't
want a divorce especially without even trying to make it work
now that I'm 100% healthy.

She went on about how its that same as the past and that we
already tried to work it out and that I had the opportunity
plenty of times to get healthy in the past and didn't etc.

She also mentioned stuff about when I was talking to that friend
of mine YEARS ago. I said, I understand how you were hurt by
that and I'm sorry. I told her I have stuck with the commitment
we made to not talk to anyone outside our marriage. She started
pointing fingers and bringing up even more past crap. Stuff
I hardly even remember and stuff that seemed so insignificant
that she harbors.

I asked her to please stop holding all of this past hurt over
my head constantly. I told her it's toxic and not doing
us any good. I told her she has every right to feel hurt and
that I was sorry for the hurt she went through, but the future
is not based on that.

She said I cannot guarantee that I'll stay healthy. I said you
cannot guarantee anything in life, but I am committed to staying
healthy and now I know what the problems where and how
to deal with them. In the past I was misdiagnosed and treated
incorrectly, that is a big difference from today.

She also mentioned about not being able to go on trip with
daughter because of money. I told her the ONLY reason she
could not go on the trip was because of all of the gambling. I
said there was plenty of money there, but all of it is gone
now. You are the only one who used the money, so how can this
have anything to do with me. She snapped - "What, do you want me
to tell the kids about the gambling?" I said "no, and I'm telling
you again that I'm not angry about it, I'm worried about you"
she says - "you don't need to worry, I'm not going anymore and
I'll have a job soon. Do you know why i went there?" I said "to
escape a lot of what is going on?" she said "no, I go because
I enjoy it and it makes me happy" (yikes!)

Then it was more of:

"I can't go through it anymore, too much has happened"
"I've put up with this for 14 years"
"I deserve to be happy and I'm going to be"
"I finally have the courage to stand up for me and be happy"
"I am going to be strong for the kids and I'm doing what
I know is the right thing"
“The kids are terrible to me, they treat me like [censored].
They treat me like that because of all the times they have
seen you treat me bad in the past"
"All we have is sex not love"
"There were a lot of deaths in our family and you were not
there emotionally for me" (I wish she ould have told me
this at the time, I had no idea she felt like that, she
made it seem like everything was fine... ugh)
"When my father was sick you moved out"
"Whenever we get close you always push back and something
happens, I cannot fake it anymore"
"I'm glad you're healthy now, but its too late"
"The divorce is already paid for and going through, you'll
be getting the papers soon, please just sign them"
"This guy has nothing to do with my decisions, I'm making these
decisions for me because I deserve to be happy now"

I know there was more said, but she was jumping all over
the place being a real jerk and I had to leave before I
got angry and started saying stuff I didnt mean.

She texted me last night -

"I want the keys to the house"

I'm sure she'll be a hostile jerk now. These are the kinds of
mood swings she has on a regular basis.

- Scott

Original Thread
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