I guess we will have to just agree to disagree on that. No one here advocates suffering under real abuse. And as for toxic relationships, I am dealing with one myself. But if I have to be perfectly honest, I inadvertently and unintentionally brought a lot of the toxicity into my M too, not just my W. Even if that were not so, I am still obligated under my vows do whatever is necessary and weather any storm necessary to see my M through.
I agree whole-heartedly that in the end it really takes two people to make it work. However, M still takes a LOT of work, and if the escape clause is so easy to acquire, why should anyone make that effort?
The root of the problem lies with our modern proclivity to treat M so frivolously, such that our spouses are granted cover in today's society for the worst of behaviors. Unfortunately the rampant D rate sends the wrong message to our children, that when things get tough, we run from our problems and responsibilities. This only perpetuates the cycle to another generation. Every thing becomes expendable and disposable to self gratification.
Perhaps I paint a pretty harsh picture -- too harsh, maybe? Or perhaps in holding to such ideals I tilt Quixotically at windmills. I understand where you're coming from, really I do. Part of me, too, would be apprehensive about trying to piece together a broken M, especially given the bad blood that has arisen. But I am not given any say in the decision to try or not to try. Under No Fault, the State allows for and encourages a unilateral dissolution.
Maybe without No Fault D, people would think twice before getting married in the first place? Maybe they would hold it in higher esteem again? Maybe. Something to think about.
