I am furious with your husband. You know now highly I think of you.
You deserve to walk moonlit paths with someone who appreciates you.
You have two choices I think: File for D or offer him an Ultimatum.
You have good reason to D him. He's shown he's a repeat philanderer.
The fact that OW still works for your husband is a recipe for disaster. And sure, she's going to try to hook him in -- and sure enough, he'll succumb.
Here's what I think the ultimatum needs to look like if you offer one. Write it down and send him a letter, don't talk about it:
1. I love you, I adore you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. I think we can both grow and change postively and have wonderful life. I want to be married to you.
2. Your most recent lapse by having OW spend the night was deeply hurtful to me. But, then, that's to be expected, as long as you have her working for you and she consistently wants to be in a relationship with you, you'll never be free of her. We were both foolish to think our relationship could work with OW still in the picture.
3. If you want to be married to me, there's one simple thing you need to do: Fire the OW, and never speak to her or ever be in contact with her again. It's her or me: you choose.
4. Once you've fired her we will take steps to work on our relationship.
5. After you've demonstrated for three months that you haven't contacted her or talked to her, you can move back in.
6. I'm tired of living in limbo. This is my final offer to you to reconcile our marriage. I love you, but I'm tired of waiting and need to move on with my life. I'd like to move forward with you in my life, but I'm prepared to move forward without you.
7. Take one week to think about this and give me your reply. You have two options: "Yes" I will fire OW, never be in contact with her again and work on our marriage or "NO", I want a divorce. If you do not reply, I will take your answer as being "NO".
This is from my heart, not my mind. Take it for what it's worth Yoyo -- you are a wonderful lady.
