Thanks mgoodwin for replying, it does help to talk with people who really understand how I'm feeling and how I'm dealing with the sitch.

Yes, the questions in my head get overwhelming and it does push me to doing or saying things I shouldn't and are bad DBing, but I'm still learning how to control them, and least I can see them coming now.

Why do the WAS seem like they are having the time of their life at our expense? It sometimes just gets to me and I have to vent!

But I do find that my PMA is more up than down nowadays, which helps tremendously. And I do think my H has noticed. He is slowly warming again, just not fast enough in my opinion! But I'll keep on keeping on and see what happens.

Life is not measured in the breaths we take, but in the moments that take our breath away...