I know I post about the conservative aspects of my personality. But in real life - like at the beer tent, I was very relaxed and just having a really good time. I tend to compartmentalize different aspects of my life and when I take time off - I really take time off and relax completely. I am usually in this relaxed demeanor when ODD PUSHY MEN approach me.
There are times when I wonder if I should be more standoffish. I reallly don't want to change myself in reaction to my environment. I really would rather be able to say NO.
Ironically part of why I decided to stay at the Ribfest and stay for the band was b/c my neighbors were going to see a one hit wonder band - and I had posted a year or two ago. The M women were all over the band members getting their autographs, etc while I hung back with the H's b/c I am not into being kissy huggy with strangers. And one of the band members honed in on me. My M GF gave him her phone number b/c she wanted to party with the band. He kept calling and asking for me.
Sometimes I wonder if some men approach me b/c they think I am a challenge...
The Resort was different. I posted about that experience. There lots of single men - and I was able to say NO w/o feeling bad. The men that approached me there did it differently.... It wasn't as pushy - it was more subtle and more within my comfort zone. I felt I could relax and laugh w/o "sending out the wrong signals."
Over the past five years, every time I ventured out on my own - and there is always an ODD PUSHY MAN - I ran away and decided it wasn't worth the angst.
Now - I am done with ODD PUSHY MAN angst. I will sign up for events by myself. I will go out. I will say NO b/c that is my default answer unless someone intrigues me enough to say YES. It is NOT the other way around. I refuse to second guess myself and wonder what is wrong with me b/c I WANT to say NO to someone. And that was a challenge this weekend when these three ladies jumped in and started to publically analyze why I was avoiding saying YES.
Although I will say - being asked if I was straight was a new one! LOL! One of the ladies had been M to a man and he was a WAH. After her D - she dated both men and women and has now been with a woman P for 12 years. I think she is more bi-sexual than lesbian. There were interesting people at this event - I enjoy talking to people that are able to stretch the envelope in areas where I cannot venture. M GF with an open M talked about it too. I mean I thought about it for awhile - since it came up twice - sure it has come up in conversations with respect to threesomes - and certainly I can appreciate if a woman is a beautiful woman - like you appreciate art - but it is not a sexual attraction thing.
Needless to say - I did not exchange phone numbers with these ladies either. Not b/c they were not interesting - but b/c I didn't appreciate being publically put on the spot with respect to PUSHY ODD MAN.
This boundary setting part is still work in progress. We will see how it goes... I need to get comfortable with this - otherwise I will act like an Ice Princess and the nice guys will sense that and back off and the ODD PUSHY MEN are the only ones that will try and approach me (no did not figure this out myself - this one is courtesy of Patent Male Girlfriend - he said this over a year ago.)
Life is good - just a new challege as I venture out into new adventures in my life.
