Wife is considering filing - Need Help

[LosingSunshine]

So it's Monday am, it's a beautiful day albeit humid with the threat of some severe weather here in the northern plains. I have a session with my C in an hour and a half and it should be very interesting. W said that she got nothing out of her first session and felt it was all her thought. I plan to spend the first few minutes discussing this with the C since he was planning on reaching out to W proactively after his vacation (this was decided before I sort of pressured W into going back a second time). Hopefully, this intel will give him a new gameplan. We'll see.

Still wondering about my comment on flexibility. W feels that I am not being flexible about the house. I told her last night that since I withdrew all pending opportunities that we were looking into and have decided to stay put here in Sioux Falls (we were hellbent on getting out of here and heading back to DC up until the bomb) and therefore have no reason to sell the house. I also said that this is a decision that we both have to agree to (we are both on the mortgage/deed) and that we are at an impasse. Hence the inflexible comment at which I responded, I understand but the feeling is mutual alluding to her inability to flexible with regards to C and wanting to try to work on things.

She thanked me again this morning for being understanding about her changed plans for this evening and that she doesn't want me to feel like I am being taken advantage of. I told her no problem. I think six flags should have a ride called the WAW. Just as soon as I see a positive sign, the wave crashes back into the abyss of the WAW.

Decided that I will go dark on her friend that works where I do. Even though she views me as friend etc...there is nothing good that will come out of communicating with her. Not sure how W will interpret this and I really don't care.

Still frustrated over the whole "you don't want to talk" comments. I do, I just don't want to listen to the "I am not going to change my mind". I get it already. I am sticking with the small chat about kids and listening to her plans but really need to avoid everything else as it causes more harm than good right now, whereas she wants to talk about selling the house etc...Argh! I did mention to her last night during the convo that I have been feeling alot of emotions about the sitch and that I am just choosing at this time not to show them (in response to her comment the other night).

More comments last night from her that she feels that she can't love me the way I need to be loved (I basically said I understand but disagree) and that she needs to do this for herself. Also, a few references during this talk as well as the others about how she has been taken care of the kids for the past 4 years. Well, I finished reading Men are from Mars last night and the point system section really resonates with this. I have zero points in her mind. She feels she has so many that she subtracted what I had accumulated and now I am at zero. My role of being a good provider has been diminished to zip. Everything that I have done in the past is not remembered. It's amazing how a year and a half of stress at the job can do this. Oh well.

I did take Phx's advice and hung around a little more this weekend than I otherwise would have and plan to do more of that this week to see what happens. I also plan on doing some more soul searching to see what other 180s I can do that might make a difference. Can't really think of anything that I have complete control over that doesn't involve her outside of what I am already doing. Still hoping that she decides to bend just a little in the coming weeks with regards to the C. I am not going to pressure her anymore on this. Not even going to bring it up, even my sessions.

I'll post more after session.