Separated 5 years.

[Sanderika]

Hi Ladies,

I am new here, I posted my story yesterday. I can connect so closely with all you said here. I would like you all to read my story posted under Newcomers to sg and then as my own thread called HELP - H in MLC 3 Years and Counting!!!.

I am at my wits end here as well. I have been on this rollercoaster for 3 yrs now.

My H does have a OW whom he feels he loves. OW is divorced at least once I think twice. 2 grown children. OW is 43.

My H doesn't love me, or so he says. I think he does.

My H has contact with me about once a week. He makes the contact I never call him anymore for any reason. Spent night with me on 6/27.

My H does NOTHING with our S12. S12 says he doesn't have a Dad anymore. S12 seems to have "moved on". H has seen S for only an hour total on two separate occasions since 5/24/08.

S wants Dad home too. S has gone into self-preservation mode to protect his feelings of abandonment and neglect by Dad. S caught on real fast that Dad puts OW in front of him.

I love my H to pieces and want him home soooooo badly. My world does not make sense to me at all.

I am so tired and the pain won't go away. I do see a IC but I don't feel it helps me now. S sees one too.

H would NEVER seek IC or MC, it would be a waste of time to ask.

I try to GAL every chance I get. On 6/29 I took S and 2 friends to NASCAR race. Friend told H we did that, she thought H would be in touch with me right away about that. I haven't heard from H since he left in the am on 6/28.

I too ponder the D? I have been to 2 different lawyers for info. Not ready to file.

H has said he doesn't want to D. I have to wonder why? The reasons I have come up with are similiar to yours:

I am H safety net. As long as he is M he doesn't have to M OW.

I have always thought it was for financial reasons. We are financially very comfortable.

I am not pushing the D, so status quo is comfortable for all except the OW. I hear OW is driving a D down his throat.

I know one thing, I hate it where I am, I am lonely - I will not get involved in a relationship while I am married. I am not religious it is my principles. I feel most days that I am just "doing time" even when I get out and have fun which is several times a week now. I hate parenting my S12 alone. I think it is going to get harder with the ages of 13-18 still ahead of me. I am obsessed with my sitch. I live it 24/7.

H wants people to think he is happy, I know him and he is not. I wonder if H is stuck and can't find a way out. Why else does he keep his relationship alive with me? I worry that I am his "go to" girl when OW is giving him s**t!!!

I would love for you all to read my story....any feed back I can get would be appreciated. AND...sorry (in advance) for my posts being very long, I just arrived and have 3 years of stuff to "spill my guts" about.

THANK YOU ALL............

Weeping may endure for the night
but joy cometh in the morning. Psalm 30:5