"he is going to think i am pursuing because of her...or does it matter?"
It does not matter.
#1 We are not perusing.
#2 If she was that important to him I have to expect you would have papers now.
"how much is too much...if i called last night, text this morning, and no reactions from either??"
As DB says.. when you get a negative reaction.. back up a little bit. No response is not negative.
There is a fine line between perusing and showing someone you care. In your case.. it may be OK to pursue some.. I would like to see you stick a little closer to someone who cares.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
