Officially Here Now

[7 Year Itch]

Well, DB failure on day 2. But I was shellshocked. I just got a VERY upset sobbing crying call from D6, saying she doesn't like it there, she misses her snowbear, and wants to be here with me in her own bed. She was sobbing, begging to come home. H is staying an hour and 15 minutes away, and it's already WAY after her bedtime so he wasn't going to bring her home. I spent 20 minutes getting her calmed down. HE got on the phone and said it had been a rough night and I totally lost it and sobbed and begged him "don't do this Chris. They shouldn't be going through this". Then I Hung up.

I know, bad. But I was in the moment, angry and sad at the same time. I'm just so damn mad. They don't deserve this. WE should be going through this emotional hell, we should be doing the work. But know, as he puts it "kids are resilient" and they will be fine. So once again, it's ALL ABOUT HIM.

I'm so beyond upset right now. I have no idea how I'm going to hold it together tomorrow when he brings them home. How can they do this to THEM without giving it a real effort? OUr 12 years was worth ONE counseling session. Then it's been the same since then. "I'm done, I know I'm done, it won't change".

I'm so sick of hearing that. God I love him, and our problems are SO solvable compared to what some are dealing with. How did I end up with someone with such a LACK of commitment to his family? I don't know this man. He's changed. Perhaps I don't want to be with this man anymore.

Chris