I'm in a similar spot right now with H. He has to do his midweek visits at the house due to logitics with how far away he is staying right now, his work schedule, or D's bedtimes etc. I feel like our "separation" isn't separate enough to really have an impact on him missing us. Like your H, he sees the girls a TON (which I'm happy for on one hand) but I still don't think he has a clue of what it is really going to be like.
I do think you would look a bit hypocritical after calling him for help, to then say he isn't welcome at the house unless it's just to pick up the D's. Hard one, but maybe give it a couple of weeks to let this recent time of asking for help pass. Just curious, why do you want to state that? Is it like my situation, where you want him to have that space, do you really not WANT to see him, is he REALLY infringing on planned times, is it punishement? Just really curious of what your intentions are behind it?
Chris
Chris, There are several reasons why I want to limit H's time at the house. 1. H states he wants a D but is making no move towards that. He expects me to live in this state of limbo forever. 2. We haven't had a true seperation where he has lived like it will be when we get the D. Like you said, he has no idea what it will really be like. 3. The Ds are living with a false sense of security. They think since he hasn't moved his things out, comes by daily, etc., that we will be getting back together. 4. I need some space myself....I need him out of my life for awhile. I am at a point where I am questioning a lot of things myself in regards to our R. If I didn't have to see him so much, I think it would help me figure things out. 5. No intention of punishing him. I have left my house every Tues. and Thursday and everyother weekend for the last 8 months so he could have time alone with the Ds.
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
