So then I call back and kids answer. Why, Phil? Why?? She said she had to go. There was no need for you to call right back. I know that you will say that you just wanted to talk to the kids... I said good I just wanted to tell you guys good night. I took to both kids.
Then I ask to talk to her. ..and if it was true that you only wanted to say goodnight to the kids...WHY did you get her back on the phone again??? She gets on the phone. I ask her if she is alright. She says yes. I said ok, I just wanted to talk to you for a little bit. She said it's 10:30 and I don't want to talk now. Why aren't you hearing her??? I said ok, well I just had something funny to tell you, and you say you want to be my friend but you don't even talk to me. Ugh. This is so unappealing. Would you want to be friends with someone who would not let you have some breathing space?
I know you want to talk to her. I want to talk to my H, too, when he is not around. But, I have to respect his space. The talks that I force just never go well. Either do yours. You started your post by saying, "it could have been disasterous," and Phil, I am beginning to see that you have 2 outcomes: disaster or just O.K. The "O.K." seems to be considered a success for you. The people posting to you know that there is better, and honestly, we just want that for you.
Quote:
PURPLE>>>>> SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING!
Quote:
She avoids talking to me because she doesn't want to change her mind yet.
Phil...she doesn't want to talk to you! You know this, but you keep on forcing it anyway. That is why your interactions with her are drying up. It is not because of something Ian told you to try that didn't work- this is your own doing. I really wish you could sit down and look at this for what it truly is.
I am posting to you because I have done the same stupid things, so please do not think that I enjoy watching you spin like this. I am trying to spare you the same pain I have put myself through. I see that Ian is doing the same. Please listen Phil! You have people who truly want to help you.
I know you are getting buried in an avalanche of advice, so I will stop here. The good thing is, it seems that all of us are telling you essentially the same thing. Who will you believe, Phil? Who here can say the magic words that will not get you defensive? Instead of pushing your own agenda, please try to address the comments and questions thrown your way. I think it will go a long way in helping you to understand why we are saying the things we are.
You can do this, Phil. A lot of people are pulling for you.
