OK!
That's better! A grilled pork chop, some green beans, some salad, and a relatively small bowl of vanilla ice cream with a pile of strawberries on it, and a big glass of water, and I feel much more alive!

So, here we go!
(((((Sara)))))
Originally Posted By: Sara
I have an entirely different take on the scene. I think she is hypercritical of everyone in the family. None of you are good enough for her, and she's going to tell you why. She can't have a good time around you because she doesn't want to have a good time around you. That would not reinforce her decision to be unhappy with her marriage, probably even her entire lot in life. Everything is better somewhere else, and the three of you are holding her back. She deserves better than this life and this family.

But it's just my POV. Doesn't make it right.

That's exactly what it feels like to me! I try not to think of it that way, though, since it feels pretty hopeless when I do. (Actually, from my posts you can probably tell when I AM feeling it that way!)

(((((Ali)))))
Ask her? There is some logic in that. One part of me thinks it is a good idea. Another part thinks she would feel backed into a corner, and criticized, no matter how I did it. And I KNOW the results of that would not be pretty. The worst part is, I'm afraid that she would do as she often seems to, and transfer her anger at me onto the kids. So, there I am, being the martyr! Crap!

(((((Michelle)))))
Originally Posted By: MichelleLT
Don't die of sunstroke. \:\)

Just barely!

(((((Lola)))))
See my response to Ali!

(((((cookie)))))
Originally Posted By: smartcookie
or...she could be in the mode of "I'll get them before they get me". Has she always been a martyr ? I was a really good one. \:\) Have fun golfing ! It takes me about 10 strokes to get the ball even close. But, I get lots of exercise. ;\)

I think she is a bit of a martyr. Absolutely. She will complain about not being appreciated, but I don't think she WANTS to be appreciated. She won't let us appreciate her.

(((((Chris)))))
Again, see answer to Ali! But, I have to think about this. I think it might need to be done at the time, and that is always hard, because I am trying to defuse things. Conflicting objectives!