Help me Act AS IF, Part 7: The Separation

[newnamenewlife]

Got back from Boston around 3pm and H came to pick up the girls at 4. This is round 3 of them going off with him for a couple of days. At first, it feels nice to have the time to myself, but then it starts to get lonely. I miss them and I miss the four of us. I don't miss the man he was for the past 8 mos prior to our S, but I really miss the life we had together and as a family before all of this went down.

I woke up the other morning wondering why he wasn't in my bed, why he insists upon living in his own apt a mile away and spending the money to do so. I guess only he really understands.

My kids continue to seem fine with the arrangement so far, which is unnerving. I'm glad to see that they're handling it pretty well, but how can that be? D11, who I was most worried about, seems to have almost no problem with the S. D7 has questions/comments now and then that are upsetting, but she's adjusted surprisingly well too. It hasn't even been 2 full weeks since H left.

I feel like *I'm* the only one who is suffering. It drives me CRAZY that my H doesn't miss me or our foursome at all--or at least not enough to want to come back.

Girl from Ipanema: Yes, I have really laughed and had fun, through this whole thing--even WITH H at times--we have made jokes about the situation together. Having a sense of humor has always been very important for me, especially during hard times. What's sad is that our shared sense of humor is one of the major things that connected H&I and now that he's no longer here, we've lost that too--all the inside jokes, nicknames for each other and the kids, years of laughing at the same things and making each other laugh. Why doesn't he miss that as much as I do???