You do what you wanna do, I leave it all up to you

[Sugar and Spice]

Talking to H on the way to church this morning and I said that if we don't end up trying that me sitting around will all have just been a big waste of time. He told me that hearing that breaks his heart. That there are no guarantees. He also said that the only reason I haven't filed is because I'm scared. After thinking about it, its not really only because I'm scared but because I have been told that there is something to wait for. What has changed now that there are no guarantees? He also said that if they moved in together that I would end up hating him and I said I wouldn't, but then said ok, probably for awhile. He has also been with her all day that I know of. I'm just so tired. Maybe its just time to go ahead and file and just walk away and let them go be happy. I also want to try and talk to H again, but I don't know that it will even do any good. Its just a waste of breath. Why is he still on the fence after all this time?