or...she could be in the mode of "I'll get them before they get me". Has she always been a martyr ? I was a really good one. \:\) Have fun golfing ! It takes me about 10 strokes to get the ball even close. But, I get lots of exercise. ;\)

M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months
4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10
I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.