My new thread - The lost world!

[Neilh23]

AD-
it's tough. i know. its weird there are times when i go without seeing her, thinking i can handle this, then i see her and all that goes down the tubes.

it's normal to feel that way. i think.

i'll pop back later.....gotta give my 2d's a bath!

[Neilh23]

Abbysdad....

it's really ok to feel that way. rememeber, it's going to be a rollarcoaster, regardless of how it turns out.

my personal opinion is that spending time with them is good. No matter how pissed you get at her for how she's acting, you will always be connected.... thru abby. the one thing you might want to consider is that you will be present for everything together...1st communion, concerts at school, etc. You need to try and be friends for her sake.

as for your feelings, i get the same way. I go about 3/4 days without seeing her (just a little time on the phone each day, after the other says goodnite to the kids), and i begin to think i can do this...

then i see her.....

and it's like a huge punch in the gut sometimes. I can't believe i screwed up something so nice with my actions....now i know it takes two to tango...but its a pretty powerful feeling.

hope that makes sense

[AbbysDad]

Thanks Neil,

I think I'm so down because for a while I think I felt I was fine without her, almost ready to move on. I'm sure that's a typical feeling. But this last week I think I've had baby steps forward. W wanted to know what I've been doing (even spied my cell phone), she said I'm looking good, actually she said I'm getting too skinny, we've had a couple of real conversations (the first in a while) and she even went out of her way to invite me over.

Maybe this where the down feeling is coming from. Because now the week will start and we'll probably not talk much. Also, with these positive signs I'm also getting that bad feeling of wondering what she's upto, if she still with OM, etc. I almost want that "I don't care feeling" back.

Well I guess I'll give the kid a bath and watch Happy Feet with her. She always brings me up.

[jonzy]

Hey Ad how are you my friend. It is very tough to come off of that high we love so much when we have a good time with our S. Remember that this is a roller coaster ride and it is a doozy of one. But you have to tell yourself that when they start to react the way they do when they pull back isbecause they are scared of feeling the closeness again.

I am having troubles with my W also being with OM. I have no hard proof other than what I posted about, but it can only lead me to believe she is.

Just remember we are all in this together and we have to support on another to get through this. Without you people on this BB I would be lost and hopeless right about now. You are all my pillar of strength and hopefully I can return the favor.

We all need to get together and have a LBS party!! I see you are in the Bay area, I can make that drive and we can party like it is 1999...woohoo back to the oldies!!


Stay strong my friend!!


Ted

[Phoenixdeux]

Sorry AD,

I don't usually even look on here on weekends. It's fine to hang out with her. Your situation doesn't call for going dark. Yours calls for rebuilding. You need to be able to smile at each other. FWIW, my opinion is that you need to be able to act naturally around her. Can you do that? Just enjoy her company and quit worrying about whether it fits into some kind of DB cookbook.

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

Phoenix--

Have not seen you in a while. Can you go give me a status report on how you think I am doing?

AD--

I get the same type of lows after H has been here and we have had a good day. I think it is because it is almost inevitably followed by him going back to being a jerk for a day or two.

SMW

[jonzy]

AD checking on ya brother, how are things on your end?

[AbbysDad]

Ted,

Its an okay day. Sorry yours has been a bummer. Can't be easy with that type of find and then having your kids gone too. Stay positive if you can.

I actually love the weekdays. I come home at lunch and do a weights workout and then afterwork I hit the bike. So I always feel positive in that regard. I was heading to the store because there in no "Abby" food when W knocked on the door. She said she had a 5:30 appt and I was like "censored" I'm going to the store and Abby hates the store.

After some tears I got Abby to come along. It was fun. I asked W "what appt? Lawyer?" I was joking of course but she was actually going to a C. Hmmm. MIL is so pleased because it shows she knows she's got problems. I don't know and actually doesn't change me one way or another. I don't think I can trust the woman again but we'll see.

Another day. I'm down to 185 though. Not bad for a guy who started the year at 230. That and Abby....my two positives for the year.

[jonzy]

This is good to hear AD, keep up the good work you are doing for you and Abby. My S is the same way about the store, if I want him to come along I have to bribe by saying I might get him a toy.

As far as my sitch I try not to think about it, when I need to vent I come on here and let loose.

You stay strong for you and Abby and everything will be ok.


Ted

[jandn]

That does suck when you have such a good time, then man how 24 hours can change everything. We are ready to move on, and then we get a slight hint of the littlest positive and we set ourselves up for hurt and dissapointment.

I always want to be with W until I get around her. Its so hard when that other person that you love so much that you dont care for some or maybe a lot of the things they do, but you still believe in them so much. And its like no matter what they have done or keep doing, you still want to fight for them. Thats just my two cents.

Hope that makes sense. I dont know if much of what I am saying tonight does, need to go to bed early like right now and try to get 8 straight hours.