Is this what healing feels like ???

[smartcookie]

fb2, I agree with you, most here are not DAM. I think the reason I'm such a curiosity is because I was a WAW. I was checked out. I was brain damaged beyond repair. I was gone. I did think I'd end up with OM. I did think OM was perfect, & H was permanently flawed. If OM lived in my town, there would have been numerous times last July & August, that I would have shown up on his doorstep. I was leaving my marriage, & blaming it ALL on my H. I had checked out emotionally, I just hadn't left physically.

Now I'm just rambling, cause this is getting long....lol

Part of that was trying to figure out what the heck I was going to do with no job & 4 kids. H & I had that phone conversation where we discussed who would move out. He started out all righteous saying "why should I move out, you're the one who wants this to end, you're the one who's not happy". I said "IF you love me, IF you say you want what's best for me, IF you mean it when you said you'd do anything to make me happy with or without you, you will move out, & let me stay in our home with our children". He agreed. I then said "if & when I want you to move out, I'll tell you". I never asked him to move out.

See how in the first 17 years of our marriage the pendulum was WAY over on his side. To balance it out, we couldn't just have it swing to the middle, it had to swing WAY over to my side, then it's gradually settled towards the middle.

I think a kick in the *ss would move her in the right direction. We just have to figure out what the kick is. You know that saying everybody has their price.....

IF she doesn't fix herself first, she'll end up in exactly the same position a few years from now. A different man, different problems, but still unable to resolve problems.

I think that's why DR as a life concept works so well & makes so much sense. The whole theme of it is, fix you. Don't try to fix them. Fill your own love bucket, get a life, make yourself happy. Then they will see an attractive person to come back to.

Nobody wants to go back to a pleading, begging, miserable person who believes no one will ever love them. Do you know how turned off I was when H was laying on our bed crying, moaning about how much I was hurting him. He was way more attractive when he'd take our boys shooting, & go to the gym, & work on the house. When I'd walk past & he was playing chess & checkers with the boys...I pretended not to notice or care. But I saw him trying. He got impatient at times. He wanted me to forgive him faster & sooner. I just kept telling him, "you say you love me, show me, don't tell me".

Then I gave him a list of 100 things that showed me that he loved me.

okay, is this what FG calls his Drama Queen ? lol Do I have an inner drama queen dying to get out ??