not every H needs his *ss kicked. Mine did. Some don't. Some W's need their *ss kicked. In our sitch H was too harsh, I was too much of a doormat. I needed to get stronger, H needed to get softer. Some M's are the opposite of ours, some are more equal to begin. I don't mean to sound like I know everything. I just know what we went through. I think most of the people here are amazing & have given their M's 200% & then some. But, if the other person won't try, won't work on it, won't go to MC, then you can only work on you & hope they wake up somewhere along the way.
The reason I went looking for an OM was an empty love bucket. C said the other day that I haven't talked about leaving in a while. I said "why would I, I'm getting everything I need from H".
lodo, you are not a DAM. DAM don't come here, read, learn, try to help other people. DAM sit in their recliner with their remote, yelling at the little woman to bring them another beer while they scratch their b*lls, & watch 14 hours of sports.
Jeff, you aren't a DAM either. (didn't want to leave you out)
& to everybody else that's replied in the last couple of days, I do want to comment & thank you, I'm just running out the door to church. Be back asap.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
