Hey Jeff, my two cents worth, if its ok. I think your wife's behavior is her screaming to be heard. I think she does not feel good about herself. Jumping at your son like that, I feel, was, believe it or not, her way of feeling in control. She wanted those boxes, she wasnt getting them, no one cared.
Now to you or I that seems silly, but for someone who, I think, is depressed (as I was for a long time), the issue wasnt the boxes, it was does anyone care.
I think you are doing great. I think the notes and the messages on the mirror are great ideas. I wouldnt do them everyday, then they arent special.
I think getting the boxes or offering to take a ride with her to get the boxes is also a good idea.
