Bring on the Rain - Part 3

[Yoyowife]

Sue,
Well, I see you H is still the jerk he has been for a while.

Goodness, I know you are missing that baby girl of yours. I bet the time is just dragging. I know you will have a wonderful reunion with her.

I hope your 4th is great. You and look at it as your "Independence Day". You are so strong and get stronger everyday. I think that H of yours will figure out sooner than later what a prize he lost.

Hugs, Yoyo

[SueS]

Hi everyone-

A busy day at work, which is always nice. Makes the day go by so fast.

Quiet at home. H and I didn't talk at all yesterday. He usually calls from work for one reason or another. It was odd, but I didn't even realize that we hadn't talked until about 7:00 last night. He isn't supposed to be off work until 9:00 on Wed., but he walked in the house at 8:30. He just mumbled something about wanting to get off early. He changed his clothes, laid on the couch and fell asleep. I packed my clothes to get ready for the weekend. When I left this morning, I told him good-bye and that I was leaving for my parent's after work. He just shook his head okay. Seems like he's down. I snooped a bit last night and saw that he'd emailed OW the song "Baby It's Tonight". If anyone remembers the song, some of the lyrics are about.....pick up the phone....I know that you're home....all this fighting and crying doesn't matter any more....If I ever needed your arms to hold me....Baby, it's tonight. So, there must be problems in FantasyLand. I believe that he was out the other night very late and possibly saw her. Maybe she's having doubts. He also knows that RealityLand isn't an easy go either. Again, during my snooping....I've seen that he's made calls to OW, but hasn't received any. He also hasn't seemed to have been taking many calls from his friends.

I'm off at 3:00 today and then it's out to my parent's. Can't wait to give D4 a big hug. I talked to my sister last night and we'll be going over to her house for the 4th. People from the neighborhood will be there....all people I know, so that will be fun.

I'll try to get on this weekend.

Have a great 4th everyone!

SueS

[LL44]

I think FantasyLand is crashing down around H, and he is realizing he is going to be left out in the cold. Sorry, trying to muster up sympathy...wait for it....oops. Nope, can't find any.

I don't have to ask how your weekend was. I know you had a great time!

[SueS]

Hello Everyone-

Well, it was a pretty good weekend for D4 and I. She had a blast, as she was here & there with my nieces, Grandma & Grandpa and mommy.

D4 made a few comments over the weekend to my nieces that we can't quite figure out what they mean. H and I have not talked to her about things, but she told one niece that we are moving. She told another one that her daddy got married again.

We talked to H for a few minutes on the 4th, but nothing the rest of the weekend. I let D4 try to call him all day yesterday on our way home & last night before we went to bed. It was nearly 1:00 am before he got home. I heard him tell D4 that he went golfing with his friend, left his car at his house and forgot his phone in his car. Well, that's great, but what about making it home to see your D4 before she goes to sleep? I mean, she's only been gone for a week. Just made me angry.

Not sure what H did over the weekend. I know that OW called him yesterday, but I don't know where that whole relationship is at right now. I just wish he'd talk to me to tell me what he's doing so I can get things all worked out.

Not much else going on.

Have a great day everyone!

[LL44]

Welcome back!

I just wish he'd talk to me to tell me what he's doing so I can get things all worked out.

Maybe you should just write him a letter. Not an R letter, but a "here are my plans" letter. Or maybe just talk to him and tell him YOU and D will be moving to the new apartment soon. What do you need to know from him to 'work things out' for you?

[Rob1231]

I agree with lwb. Why should you be reacting to his plans (or lack thereof) at this point? Take the wheel.

[SueS]

Hi everyone-

lwb & Rob, you are right. I do need to take the wheel and just start asking the questions & telling H what's going on with ME.

H came home on Monday night a bit late from work. When he got home, D4 and I were on the bed reading. I was laying down. H came up next to me and kind of rubbed my leg. I just looked up at him with a blank face. He said....Fine, if you don't want me to touch you I won't. What does he expect? Last night he decided it was time to dip into the wine. He drank nearly 1 & 1/2 bottles by himself between about 7-11. D4 was laying down with me. H came in the bedroom to ask if I wanted him to sleep in the bedroom with me. He was drunk. I told him that him sleeping in our room was his choice. He asked again and I repeated myself. He got mad and left the room mumbling something. He slept on the futon. To be even more of a man-child, he turned a picture of us over that he has sitting on his shelf in the den. Real mature. He does that because he knew that it used to upset me....must think that it still does. I used to sit it back upright, but I don't bother any more.

I called this morning after I got to work to talk to D4. H snapped at me with a "What do you want"!, when he answered. I talked to D4, who made me laugh. I went home for lunch and grabbed the mail. There was a handwritten envelope from a local home builder. It was addressed to Mr. & Mrs. SueS. So, I opened it. It said.....Dear H and Stacy, so nice to meet you this past weekend.....etc. Well, OW's name is not Stacy. H called me for something and I said, Hey, by the way, do you know a Stacy? He said, No, but I wish I did. I told him about the note. He was quiet, but denied knowing any Stacy. He did not deny going to the home builder...but I didn't ask. Funny that they'd send a handwritten note to our address & in his name....by accident. I kicked myself for not just leaving the note out for H to see and for telling him about it. I should have left it be.

Work has been busy, so that's good. D4 has been good. She had a tough time adjusting from a week of having whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted it at Grandma & Grandpa's to the structure of daycare. She's doing better now. She picked up an expression from my dad, which I told her is not exceptable in our house. My dad is about 70 yrs old and is not a particularly religious man. Unlike my mom, who taught us that using God or Jesus' name in vain isn't proper, my dad uses certain expressions whenever he wants. My mom warned him to try to be careful with what he says around D4 but I guess she overheard him a few times. The other night she was carrying a few things to her room and dropped something. Out of her mouth pops.....Oh, for Christ sake!! Grandpa got a phone call!! He said, well at least she used it in the right context.

Well, better sign off for now. Have a great day everyone.

SueS

[Rob1231]

Hi Sue, Well, you already know what I think of H's pouting and other juvenile behavior, so I'll skip repeating myself. I did want to comment on your dad though!

Grandpa got a phone call!! He said, well at least she used it in the right context.

I like him! LOL, what a great comeback!

[SueS]

Rob-

Yeah, no need to comment on my H. I know how you feel. My posts are partly for me to journal and get it all out...even when it may seem repetitive to to others.

And, the new homebuilder site that he doesn't know anything about looking at.....yeah, it's near where OW lives.

My dad....Ya gotta love him. He's a funny guy. He's so laid back and so good with D4. When we were growing up, my dad was working out of town all the time. We barely got to see him and I really mean that. He was an alcoholic too. Not mean, just sloppy. My dad was an INCREDIBLE fast pitch softball player. He's in the SD softball hall of fame! We spent every weekend in the summer in a different city in the midwest at tournaments. During school, he'd work longer hours, often 7 days a week, out of town. We loved him, but didn't really know him. With my sister's kids, he worked closer to home and spent more time with them. Now he's retired and spends as much time with D4 as he can. He even came down here for 2 weeks a few years ago to help us out when we were switching daycares. He admits to my mom that he wishes he could go back and do it over with my sister and I. Anyway, last year at this time he had just finished his radiation & chemo therapy for his throat cancer, but was still on a feeding tube. I remember while he was recovering from surgery and during his raditation he couldn't really talk. We'd become accustom to talking about politics, sports, history....life in general. I couldn't wait for him to be able to talk again. I missed him. Dad's always been pretty relaxed, but it's incredible to see how well he's doing and how much more relaxed and....take it as it comes....he is. What a difference a year makes for all of us!

SueS

[fightingirish]

((((sues)))... that' weird about the letter... its amazing that he is still looking for "affection" what a strange bird. If he is so happy with his life of freedom, why does he still come back for some "lovin" from you. He really doesn't like to be alone I think.

Im glad you are so close with your parents, that helps your situation all the way around!