Last July (7/07), My wife and I were reunited after a six-month separation wherein I found within myself the desire and drive to fix my broken marriage.
In August (8/07), and beginning with John Gray's Mars/Venus book, I began a research campaign to figure out 'how' to fix my marriage, putting into practice what I liked, and discarding what didn't seem to work.
In November (11/07), I found Michele's SSM book, my wife read it and had her own epiphany about men and physical intimacy. Breakthrough #1.
In December (12/07) I joined this site and shared a little of my story...all the while my wife and I are making slow improvements in our relationship.
In February (2/08) we found an individual / couples / sex therapist to help us out and have been seeing him ever since.
In May (5/08) my wife finally had the confidence in our marriage recovery, and trust in me, to reveal what she really needed in order to be happy both in and out of the bedroom -- it was time for me to 'man up' and take charge. Breakthrough #2.
It's now the following July (7/08), and while a lot of progress has been made, we have a long ways to go yet....
Note that while I would no longer consider this to be a sex-starved marriage, and we are both happier with each other than we have been in many years, the journey is far from over. It will probably be another year, or two, before we consider everything resolved, and I'm sure life will throw a few more curve balls at us to handle in the mean time -- it always has.
The fact remains, however: it can be done, the long-standing SSM can be fixed, with a lot of effort made by two people who still love each other and who truly want to make it work.
-- B.
Me 50, W 45, M for 26 yrs S25, D23, S13, S10 20+ year SSM; recovery began Oct 2007
