M, The description of your h sounds like he's definitely in mlc. MLC isn't just about getting a young girl or a sports car, but it goes much deeper than that. He's going to be shedding quite a bit of his old self in the months to come and it appears that he's in the throes of replay.
Many will lose a lot of weight during this time, exercise more than usual, change the way they look, i.e., body piercings, tattoos, hair color, botox, change the style of dressing, music, drinks, diet, etc. They become the walking dead, so to speak, and look like h@ll for quite a while until they get over the hump of shedding their old selves. Dead eyes, an effort to smile, etc. are also part of this. Depression and guilt are the driving forces for this crisis. They are running from what they were and had in the former life.
The "shedding: is part of reinventing themselves because they aren't happy with the way they look and they think that changing these things will make them happy. Yes, it will for a short period of time. The problem is that they aren't looking within for that happiness--it's exterior happiness that they think will do the trick. They will try a lot of things before it's over with to find that illusive happiness.
We do understand your concern because we all have seen our spouses looking like this or close to it. Many of them will end up with health conditions, i.e., ulcers, heart problems, blood pressure problems, knee injuries, etc. The stress of the crisis really puts them through the wringer (emotionally and physically).
What can you do about it? Pray. I know that you are worried, but you can't do anything about the way he is mistreating his body at this time. You generally can't carry on a rational conversation w/him because he's operating on emotions. All you can do is be there and listen when he opts to talk to you. It's extremely difficult watching the person you love trying to recapture his youth and knowing full well that his body at his current age can't compete with the youth he left behind.
I'm very sorry to see that you are here and joining our family. You are going to need a lot of support in the months to come and this is a wonderful place to seek out that support. We always advise posters to keep the focus on themselves and their children at this time, for you are the stable parent and will need to be strong for them.
Please continue to post. Others will be along shortly to offer support.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
