I've come full circle/LTA & MLC 7/8

[kat727]

I am so looking forward to a day when I don't have to push myself just to get through the day. How long will it take to get to normal again?

I hate being lonely. I am not saying I need a man to feel validated. I have been doing this as best as possible for the past 18 mths by myself. I just need to be close to someone. Maybe like when Harry Met Sally!

kat

[Hope4us]

You feel like a kid because you ARE still a kid - in their eyes. My father is in his late 60s and my grandparents still treat him like a kid. Get used to it!

Hope your long weekend was good. lodo

I agree with Lodo here Kat. I can say I never felt like a MAN until my dad passed away. Everytime something broke on the car or in the house I'd call him and he'd say "I'll be down shortly" (we lived about an hour from him and mom) and he'd come and we'd fix it together. I always felt like a kid while he was alive, even though I was an adult. And the funny thing is, I think he admired ME so I'm sure if you'd have asked him, he would have told you he didn't think of me like a child, but I sure FELT like one. But once he had passed away, I realized I never really had to grow up because he (and mom) were always there to bail me out if I had any kind of trouble (money, house, car, whatever).

And you know what? It's ok to be their child. When they're not there any longer, you'll be willing to give an arm to have them there treating you like their child again. I know I would. I still think of him everyday of my life and would do anything to go fishing with him just one more time.

[Hope4us]

I am so looking forward to a day when I don't have to push myself just to get through the day. How long will it take to get to normal again?

I hate being lonely. I am not saying I need a man to feel validated. I have been doing this as best as possible for the past 18 mths by myself. I just need to be close to someone. Maybe like when Harry Met Sally!

kat

Give yourself some time. Once your D is final, take time for yourself, removed from the crap and rediscover who YOU are. Then before you know it your knight in shining armour will come around and you'll be thinking "I've never been so happy in all my life"!

[gForce]

What's normal? Is there such a thing? By whose standard?

I think something that DBing gets right is the setting of goals. Still not sure whether it busts any D's but it sure is useful in helping you sort through a sitch that seems intimidating in complexity into steps that are more manageable. So post-D, think about the things that are important to you in your life and the first steps that would take you in that direction. How can you get there? I'd love to hear what they are.

BTW - I agree. Lonely sucks. Physical/emotional intimacy with someone you love is what we all want. At least I do. I don't have a solution, just letting you know I know how you feel.

[kat727]

H is here stewing. Kids won't get ready, they won't listen to him. He doesn't seem to care that they obviously don't want to be with him. I don't want to force them, but soon I may have to.

kat

[LL44]

I don't want to force them, but soon I may have to.

So hard. The girls would always pick me over Daddy, always. Even before our issues. I have to do some positive spins, sometimes even to get them to pay attention to him when he is at the house. Hope he can wrangle them out the door.

[lodo]

hey kat - hope you're okay. what are you going to do once kids are gone?

[kat727]

I don't want to help him. He has done the damage here and he should have to figure out how to relate to his own children. He still doesn't get it, refuses to see what he has done.

I do try to encourage the kids to talk to him but not in front of him.

kat

[karen43]

I don't want to help him. He has done the damage here and he should have to figure out how to relate to his own children. He still doesn't get it, refuses to see what he has done.

kat

Don't help him!!! You are too nice to him I'm sure; I think it would be good for him if you let him handle things on his own. And I know your kids will be fine, b/c they have you!!! Don't know how to make them "get it" though. If you figure it out, please let me know!!! Karen

[kat727]

Sure will. I just got back from Book Club. I guess myself and two others were the only ones that liked the book. Still had an interesting discussion though.

It is really hot and muggy. S15 and I just hung out and watched tennis/Harry Potter during the afternoon. This next week has got to be better or I guess if there is more bad stuff coming I should hope to get it all over with now?!

kat