To be here or not to be here

[Hope4us]

Pinkie, I agree with Mark that it was probably meant for OW. And I agree with Mark that if OW is the one who ended it he will be trying anything to get back with her until he figures out she's truly done. And THEN he'll have to get through WD. This is the same situation I've been in. OM cut and ran when I exposed to his wife, but my WW kept pursuing. She wanted him to come "visit" her at least 3 times that I know of and each time he made up some excuse and she just didn't get that he was done. OMW told me he's pretty much a coward and wouldn't come right out and say "it's over" so I'm sure he just made up excuses and WW just didn't get it.

I guess the point is, just detach from it. If you still want to give your marriage a chance, go dark. It's the only way you'll retain any love you still have for him while he gets his chit together. If he doesn't come back, at least you're removed from the crap which will make yourself feel better. I really think if I'd have gone dark a long time ago things would be very different right now. We'd either be really back together or I'd have spared myself a lot of pain watching her self destruct.

Keep your chin up and DETACH!