Honestly I think it may be a MLC, but hes only 31, hes suddenly become terribly unhappy with me, his job, his truck, our house, hes working out like crazy and is worried about his hair turning grey.
My 180's that Ive been doing were to lose weight (down 38lbs!), learn how to wear makeup, and dress more femininely. Theyre coming along nicely, and today I think I may have caught him looking at me "like that". I didnt say anything about it, but it really made me feel good. I told him how good hes been looking lately, I think maybe I was too critical, and not supportive enough. I changed my birth control and the different hormones have made a big difference in my libido. That was another one of the reasons he gave for leaving. In the last few days I found out that he had wanted to start a family, we had both always been adamant that we did not want kids, but I have wanted to have a baby for a while, but I didnt know that he had changed his mind too. We never talked about it, and that seems like a good reason to want to leave a marriage, but not without talking about it!
Ive been praying in the morning and at night, I try to give the m and my H to God, then I can focus on making myself a better person, and pursuing my own bliss.
Thanks Sooner and christarn
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Well sounds like you could be on the right track about a possible MLC.
Way to go on the 38lbs, that will boost your confidence. Sounds good on the make-up and dress more feminine. Try to think back if he had ever dropped any hints about what dress style he like in a girl and if that is or can now be you ya might try doing that. I think guys are very visual. I'm sure you are right about him looking at you "that way" it's got to have him thinking. Do it for you, but it would be a bonus for him, he would just be missing out if he were to leave. Good of you to support him, if it doesn't register with him at the moment it may later. If this birth control is working for you stick with it, my W went through about four different ones and her mood was different with each, the one she is on now is the best yet, her mood is way better and consistent and so is he cycle finally, thank God. Not sure on the kids and walking out thing, maybe more of an MLC thing with him. Try not to worry to much about the papers, God can work miracles, just keep praying!
Well, this afternoon I guess will be a turning point. A bad one im afraid. Hes bringing the papers out for me to look at. I dont know if I can see them with out freaking out. Ill try, but this is going to be really hard. I will preserve my dignity, and go to another room to meltdown I guess. I dont know what to do. Can I ask for more time? Is it okay to say that I wont sign them as long as hes having an affair? I feel so lost.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Well, this afternoon I guess will be a turning point. A bad one im afraid. Hes bringing the papers out for me to look at. I dont know if I can see them with out freaking out. Ill try, but this is going to be really hard. I will preserve my dignity, and go to another room to meltdown I guess. I dont know what to do. Can I ask for more time? Is it okay to say that I wont sign them as long as hes having an affair? I feel so lost.
Hi, blue! I'm new to your sitch, but do you have a L yet? I wouldn't sign anything until you have an L look over the paperwork. That will also give you at least a little delay that I think you were looking for as well. But I would try to act as cool as possible about the divorce if you can. I saw someone posted recently that it helped when they acted like the divorce was the greatest idea; I don't think I can do that, but I don't think my H does realize how truly upset I am and wouldn't understand that anyway. When having an affair, they are in fogs and fantasyland and all the rest, and you should try to focus on you: protecting yourself with a L, and focusing more on yourself rather than your H's current craziness. Karen
OHOHOHOH!! I didt great! I did receive the papers, cried a little, mostly stayed calm. Then I got (inexplicably) all hot and bothered. Told him so, and we laughed about it. I told him that I feel like a predator, he had better look out! I flipped his shirt up playfully and said "OH! hehe" and he said "I got fat" and I said "No baby, your hot" Then as he was leaving I wrote I want your body in the dirt on one of the windows of his truck. He didnt wipe it away right away. I feel giddy, not sure if it really went as well as I preceive. But I feel good about it.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
I still feel pretty good about how things went today. H is getting underway for work for the next week, so I think that the distance will be good. Im going to start running when he gets off work, when he get off, Im usually on my lunch break, the road to his ship is alongside super popular running trail, and its the only way down to there, so He'll see me. It seems like a good way to show my changes.
Last edited by bluerain; 07/07/0804:26 AM.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
BR~ Although my sitch is way different, I know it's hard to not get your H off of your mind. I do paint by numbers upside down, a friend says it lets the left side of your brain go! silly i know...but it is simple enough, and it keeps me occupied!!!
find a hobby walk
check out joelosteen.com...watch a prayer service, it will give you hope and make you feel better
take care christarn
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
I got on the prayer list for the Charlene Cares. Its nice to have it out there. Hopefully it helps! And I started running again, the burning in my chest and legs makes my heart hurt less! And its makes me feel really good.
I went through this huge ordeal with my birth control and now after many years my hormones are finally back to normal, and normal for me apparently entails a raging sex drive. I havent felt like this for years, since H and I first got together and I first started using birth control. It feels GREAT!! except for the fact that he really wants nothing to do with me. When he was here I just couldnt help telling him how much I wanted him, He didnt seem like he didnt like it, and he didnt ask me to stop, I really feel like one of the things that went wrong was my low (non-existent) libido, and I would like for him to see me as a more sexual person.
I dont know, it feels good to play with him again, and he hasnt asked me to stop yet. Things are so hard right now. I have done so much work on myself, boy if he came home things would be much different, maybe not perfect, but much different.
Last edited by bluerain; 07/08/0804:54 AM.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Thought I'd pop on over to your thread and say HI! I think you definately gave your h something to think about as he goes back to work. If he acts too weird about it, tell him you switched birth control and it's making your hormones rage like a teenage boy. He'll get the humor and you've got something to blame it on. Off-topic: I'm curious what birth control are you on? I'd like to find one that won't kill my sex drive, make me crazy, or cause me to gain weight.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
