posted this in my journal gypsy but i wanted for you to hear it again...
you stated in your previous thread and i think we all say it often...comments about being alone and fear of it. you posted
Quote:
I hoped that once this was over I eventually would not be alone
and then go on to talk about how hard lonliness is or enjoying hearing kids play at your house again...but you must remember...you havn't been alone this whole entire time. the Lord is always there. Second point, you must learn to enjoy spending time with yourself. this will help you big time. i started working on getting belongings and really focus on making a home for 6d and I. but the side benefit was that i was so focused on her and legal stuff. i was looking out for 6d and i. and it helped my detaching enormously. and most importantly, you must enjoy yourself because in only this way will you believe it when someone says they like you. was interesting the post following talks about a woman that doesn't feel good about herself when someone flirts with her. she just doesn't believe the qualities in herself. so no matter what that person says, she won't believe it in herself(my wannabe ex-wife problem that i just don't think she will ever ever change, been that way since birth). you on the other hand have the power and the desire to feel good about things. enjoying your time by yourself is a huge step and don't dread but find something and do it. i had a friend take a day of the week for himself. every wednesday was his, he took no calls, no invites, etc...wednesday was his night. he said at first it was a bit weird, but he got to a point where he would be looking forward to his wednesday. i think you get my point.
also, i don't talk to her at this time. anytime she calls, i get off the phone asap. last time i spoke to her was when she didn't have 6d ready and said she needed to do this that and the other before i could get her. i said no, i'll just get her now and take care of it. you said you get upset when you talk to him. so, i'd just let the machine get it. return the call when you feel up to it. i just don't talk anymore. hard to believe people that'd do as ours have. saves your sanity and helps you detach because if yours is anything like mine, nothing you do will be thought of in a positive light. So, no sense in talking to people that will perceive every thing you say negatively. just no point. Those are things they have to work on. not you. I am not saying to be ugly. Just short brief and done. It helps a lot.
keep up your journals you said you were doing. that helps a lot. It's going to be so helpful that i have basically everything documented. 9 months of actions she will have to answer for. whereas, i seriously doubt the WA's spend the time to right anything down...to busy running. If mine has wrote anything I'd be surprised. Point is keep journalling...it helps you legally and it will help you to detach...
I read a little of what I wrote or said 9 months ago...I could not read the whole thing...what horsey...I sounded so pathetic. We are stronger and better than that ... let the hurt go and see what happens...keep yourself busy and enjoy being you.
