I dont feel like Im gaining any ground. As soon as I feel better he does something else. I wanted to talk to him about the miscarriage because I thought it might have something to do with why he wants to leave, and maybe giving it some closure would help both of us.

We are really good friends, today was a great day, we spent quite a while talking and laughing, but then he tried to give me the papers again. And I felt like I was dying. It has just been such a painful last few days. I have to get better at controlling myself. As soon as he starts to talk about M or D I lose it. I cant help it. I know it doesnt help, but I have such a hard time staying calm.

I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...