I guess it has made me really pause and wonder if I'm posting truthfully or if I am posting truthfully and things really are that crap in my marriage (in terms of manipulation adn control). tbh I feel guilty for posting information like that becuase when I look back, I can see plenty examples where I have done the same back to him.
That's part of the beauty of posting. Even when it hurts. It makes us think, and sometimes learn as much, probably more, about ourselves as we do our partner. You can be pretty sure than admitting your shortcomings here will get you support, from almost everyone. There are a few exceptions, but they must be perfect, anyway! (Of course, admitting your shortcomings, and then justifying not trying to change them, doesn't get quite the same reaction!)
