Well spent most of the day on the phone with H and with each conversation we seem to take one more step away from each other. We have both noticed that we seem to be further away from each other than ever. He seems to be just as confused as ever and I really don't think he knows what he is going to do. He also does nothing at all to figure it out. We have had good conversations, but they seem to all point to one direction. He doesn't tell me that hes coming home anymore and he rarely ever tells me he loves me anymore. Its just really hard, it seems closer to the end than ever.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Corey, as I was reading your last post, I was thinking the exact same as what Jeff wrote. I think the closer it gets to the troll-let hatching, the more pulled back your H will be to your family...all due to confusion, not because he doesn't care about you.
Talking to H on the way to church this morning and I said that if we don't end up trying that me sitting around will all have just been a big waste of time. He told me that hearing that breaks his heart. That there are no guarantees. He also said that the only reason I haven't filed is because I'm scared. After thinking about it, its not really only because I'm scared but because I have been told that there is something to wait for. What has changed now that there are no guarantees? He also said that if they moved in together that I would end up hating him and I said I wouldn't, but then said ok, probably for awhile. He has also been with her all day that I know of. I'm just so tired. Maybe its just time to go ahead and file and just walk away and let them go be happy. I also want to try and talk to H again, but I don't know that it will even do any good. Its just a waste of breath. Why is he still on the fence after all this time?
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Dar you are so right. There is really nothing to gain by asking ourselves a question that we cannot answer.
I need to just stop myself from being sucked into conversations that really don't benefit me in the long run. He is just going to have to do whatever it is he is going to have to do and I just need to live my life.
Easier said than done, but I need to try.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I just wish I knew what he was telling her. I'm so confused. He tells me one thing one day and then the next it is the opposite. Why would we need to protect our house if he was giving any thought to being with her? Why keep me hanging around if he is going to go live happily ever-after? Why tell me in the same breath that we have more than a chance? That if it weren't for this baby he could just come home and live happily ever-after?
How will I ever know if I don't try and find out? Where are you Puppy? The king of intel...I wish I could just read their text exchanges.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I'll bet a donut that he is confusing her just as much as he is confusing you!
And, doesn't he also have the little gambling issue? (Another reason to protect the house.) To me, it seems there isn't much you can do, beyond taking care of you and the kids right now. I think the mush in his head isn't going to take any shape until the baby is born, and it will take a while after that.
