I know it was a bit much -- but if I had never said it, I would have carried the guilt of not pointing it out, doing everything possible. But like you said, H4H, that is me, for better or worse.
I did get a response a couple of hours ago, which I just read...
Quote:
"heavy sigh" Your words have always sounded so good. In the past year how many times have you put any love into action? You don't seem to understand that when you throw a tantrum when I ask you to help clean out this house to get it ready to sell it negates any religious platitude you 've said & makes it just noise. Godly love works for others, does for others. I cry every time I start wading through the mountains of stuff in this house & then I see that you've bought more bookcases & a coffee table when there are ones here I'm going to have to haul off by myself. You agreed that we need to sell the house & said you want 60% of the profit but I'm the one that has put in the sweat equity. I'm sorry if I can't take your preaching to heart. It is very much like the "holy" men who passed by the dying man. The "good Samaritan" helped willingly. You've had a year. I'll box your stuff & you can go through it. I'm finally making it to the closets. My paperwork load hasn't been quite as heavy so I'm making some progress.
Typical WAS cynicism and hyperbole -- I'm not surprised. If this pushes her further ways into her myopic fog, further away from God, then I am sorry for that. It's still her choice.
I s*ck at DB'ing, but I tried.
Two things jump out at me:
(1) She is complaining about me seeking 60% of the house, which I gave into 50-50 months ago now during "mediation" (as long as custody was going to also be 50-50). So I question why she's grousing about that still.
(2) It should be obvious to anyone reading this that her personal Love Language involves Acts of Service. (Her secondary LL is Physical Touch -- but she no longer wants me anywhere near her.) She never cares to reciprocate with my personal LL, Quality Time and Words of Affirmation. In fact she now always leads with the exact opposite, which has done nothing but discourage me from spending any time at the house doing yardwork and repairs like I had in the beginning of this separation. I just was not welcome.
Thus our impasse.
Should I respond? Is there even a response?
So much obfuscation, so much negativity. No wonder I suffered under depression for so long. It didn't have to be this way.
Well, I am no longer going to allow anyone to steal my joy. No more.
