From reading your thread it sounds like you still are not completely detached and you still have jealously.
I've read where DB'rs discuss being friends to the WAS. I could not do that. I did not ask how she was doing, because I knew -- she was throwing all our lives into a tizzy so she could ride the midlife crisis rollercoaster. I could only be professional, respectful and courteous. When it came to the kids, it is all business.
Taking this professional detached tact and focussing on myself has helped me heal. It doesn't happen over night, and I'm still a work in progress.
You are doing all the right things (working out, hobbies, DivorceCare). Keep at them.
I know you say you talk with your ex like friends. Others may disagree, but I think you should limit your contact on a need-to basis. Kids, schedules, parenting.
For yourself, focus on kids, work, hobbies and bettering yourself.
