H of course places all of them blame for R talk/argument squarely on my shoulders. He said if I had been in the hospital he would have come right away but since it wasn't a bad accident, he had to stop and think about whether he was up to getting into a conversation with me! UUUGGGHHHH
kat
Of course they love to blame us for everything don't they: bad weather, anything that happens to them, etc. They of course have no control or responsibility for anything in their lives: it's all us causing everything! Crazy thinking!
You know if your H had any good friend call them for help after an accident would he have to stop and think about whether he's gonna bother to show up or help? I doubt it! They just don't even treat us like friends anymore sometimes which is ridiculous!
Don't know if you care anymore, Kat, but wondering if you should just stop all R talk, anything about the divorce, any talk at all except re: to your kids? I think you are maybe like me way too nice for what they deserve; and maybe you could do more of an 180 about treating your H like a distant friend (someone once said you should treat them like you do the mailman which I think is good) rather than a good friend or whatever? I know I need to work on that myself anyway... Karen
I hope your day was better than yesterday. I guess it almost had to have been unless a plane crashed into your house. Or maybe fireworks catching your clothes on fire. No? Then it was a good day!
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
No planes crashed and no clothes caught on fire, so I am in one piece. My Dad drove into town( they live 1/2 hour away) and was able to pull the bumper out so my wheel could move freely. He said he wasn't sure about the alignment but I was able to drive it without any problems.
Just have to wait to talk to the insurance guy on Monday. I am also going to ask that he take H off of our policy and I am going to take him off of AAA this month. Talked to my Mom alot while we were waiting for it to get dark, they just wonder if he was ever faithful to me, I don't know and at this point that would be just adding more fuel to the fire. It's in the past and doesn't really matter now anyway.
I just want him gone but am really unhappy that I will have to continue to deal with him often. YUCK!!
Hope you all had a good 4th.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
My Mom just called to tell me that my Dad is furious with me for calling H right after the accident. My Dad said he wasn't going to help me again. This is why I don't ask my parents for anything, I let them offer and go from there.
Why do I feel like a kid when I am nearly 44? I am feeling pretty well cut off right now. I realize that I don't really have anyone here in town when something happens, even though my Dad didn't seem upset with me calling H when my car wouldn't start and the fuel pump was going out. As if I didn't have enough problems...
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
That's a father, kat. He probably wanted you to call him in your time of need. I wouldn't read too much into it. You know he will be there in your time of need, if you need it.
My parents make me feel exactly the same way, sometimes. We will always be their kids.
I bet we'll be the same to our kids.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
Tell him to chill. Tell him you were married for a long time and that things don't change overnight - especially in an emergency!
You feel like a kid because you ARE still a kid - in their eyes. My father is in his late 60s and my grandparents still treat him like a kid. Get used to it!
Just catching up on what has happened Kat. So sorry that you were in an accident. Accidents are so upsetting in normal circumstances, I can't imagine being in one right now. Big hugs to you! It is almost funny that you H thinks you had a big plot to get in an accident in order to have R talks with him. As if you got up that morning and thought, "How can I get H over here to talk? I know! I will crash the car!"
Hang in there....it is going to be over soon, right?
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
It's supposed to be. Haven't heard from my L all week. If nothing gets accomplished then we will have a trial on Friday. I so want this nightmare to end. I have been so disappointed by the people that were supposed to care about me the most this weekend.
It gets kind of old having to brush yourself off each morning and say it's a new day.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Yes it does get old. I think I have prayed the same prayer each morning for the past 8 months. But you can make it through this. I know you can do it.
I hope you don't have to go to trial. That was my worst fear and why I paid my H off to sign the divorce. I just thought trial would make everything even more stressful and if I had any more stress, you would find me in the mental ward. Call your lawyer Monday and see what is up. The end of this nightmare is coming....slowly it is coming...
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
