Need Advice Due to WAW

[kptch]

My wife told me about 2 weeks ago that we needed to start thinking about getting a divorce. We had a conversation about 2 years ago that she was not happy because I did not communicate very well. I tried to make changes after that conversation and thought I was doing the right things. I wish I had read all of the books I have been reading the last 2 weeks.

I thought I was making the changes she wanted but the problem was I did not really know what I needed to change. I thought I was smart enough to figure it out on my own. I am so much more educated from all of the reading and realize the areas I needed to work on. I really believe that I know what I need to do make myself a better husband now. I have told that I realize my mistakes and will work hard to correct them. I told her that I did not want a divorce. I told her that I would go to counseling on my own or with her to work things out. I think that she has some work to do in the communication department as well but most of our problems were a result of what I was not giving her. I told her that and apologized to her from the bottom of my heart. I believe that I need to change and want to change badly. I think that the changes she would see would bring back the happiness she was missing. It would also give me the happiness I wanted in our relationship and I don't just mean more sex.

I have been faithful to my wife and have never been abusive. We don't even have that many big arguments. While we were talking, she told me I was a great father. She had never said that before. The big problem has been my lack of real communication. Growing up, my family was not big communicators in the family relationship area which probably caused me to not communicate enough in my marriage and I want to improve on this. It seems like all she is having are negative thoughts and not thinking about the good times we had along with 3 great kids.

She is a very strong willed woman and said that she has pretty much emotionally checked out on me. I know that she is serious beacuse she has begun looking at the finances and how we can handle our living arrangements. In some ways, I don't blame her for feeling the way she does. I just want to do the right things to get her emotionally checked back in with me. I know it will take time. I will be moving out tomorrow (July 6, 2008) to give her some space. I don't know how long I will be able to be strong and stay away even though I will have my kids some during the week. I will kill me not being there for my kids every day.

For the women reading my post, I am really interested in your point of view. Would you be more ready to let your husband back in if he sincerely wanted to changed and was willing to work harder than anything not to make her feel hurt again.

I welcome any comments from the men as well. I know I am not the only husband in this situation. Please offer any construcitve criticism on how to handle things from the very beginning. I just started reading Divorce Remedy so I have not had a chance to put any of the advice to work.

Thanks.