Well the title of this thread is very deceiving because I am finding myself still very much on the rollercoaster ride. I've had a couple of really rough days. I cannot believe that the man I've been with for 18 years would ever be capable of what he's been doing. Since I moved away, he's been on a rampage. First of all, I know that H is still contacting OW through email. It started up again a couple of days after I left. They've been emailing each other back and forth since she's away in another town doing research til August. There's not much to the emails. H is still wanting to talk to her about why the R ended but she is being quite dismissive. He's still pursuing her. Secondly, H has made contact with his last very short lived EA (I think it was one-sided on H's part). Again someone half his age. There's more. H has created an account on a dating site and personals to meet women. He has actually responded to a couple of ads via email. I am having such a difficult time coping with all of this but would rather know what's going on. Here are some thoughts on this. Since I moved away, I've been very distant. H has tried to reach out but I've been unresponsive. I think this "rejection" has sent him over the edge and he's trying to reach out to any female that will give him attention.
A couple of days ago H sent me an email saying he's been reading the book "After the Affair". He said he now realizes how much he's hurt me, that I'm a remarkable woman and mother, that he misses ME very much (not just our S), that he misses the intimacy between us, that he would like to figure out if we could reestablish the honesty and trust we once had... He then goes on to state that he feels I don't understand his need for growth. He states some of his future goals and they again are all over the map (which made me angry). He remains very unfocussed. I responded with a positive email and I was a lot more responsive when I spoke to him on the phone yesterday. My H is still so confused about EVERYTHING. On the one hand he's telling me all of the above, on the other hand he's out trying to meet other women half his age. I'm having such a hard time believing anything he says. I am devastated by what he's done lately.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
