More drama. I won't get in to all the details this time. I was the one who initiated the contact. It wasn't about R talk initially, just about the sitch the other day with friends. We did a lot of messaging back and forth and I cleared up some misunderstanding between H and B, although the friendship is broken. Anyway, H said some nice things that he hasn't said since he dropped the bomb - that he hopes that I'll be ok and that he'll always be there for our kids. (He usually refers to them as THE kids, not OUR kids.)
I got to say some things I've been wanting to say - like how it's one thing for kids to say later on that their father had an affair with someone, and another for kids to say that their father left them for that someone (I actually phrased it differently and referred to ogre as 'something'). It was relevant to what we were discussing so I slipped it in. When we spoke, he was really angry, but was directing it all at B - clearly still not admitting his own faults.
I didn't expect to get a lot of the replies from him that I got, so I guess overall, it was good. Not sure where ogre is since he was talking freely on the phone with me. Maybe just out of town.
At the very least, I hope some of the things we talked about got H thinking. I really do want H to fix himself on his own. As much as he has always done his own thing, he does have a tendency to go along with other people's thinking when he's too lazy to think on his own. I so want to tell him what his problems are, but spoonfeeding him ultimately won't help him. On the other hand, maybe he needs me/someone to just feed him the first few bites before he can dig deeper on his own.
I feel like I took advantage of the opportunity to get H to open up a little and it worked (slightly) this time. Hope I can do what I think is the right thing, which is sit back and wait for H to move closer again without opening my big mouth.
Anyways, I'm thankful for the good interactions and conversations we're having lately. Won't expect to have any more though any time soon.
