Guilty as charged.. I am a WAW.

[Bridgestone]

Thanks SC
taking some DBtime today to reflect after the emotional outpouring on Thursday after counseling.

it is nice to see some others lightbulb moments.. just posted overon Gypsy's asking about hers.

Sometimes counselors are so 'scripted' I want to look at them & calmly say. "Yes, I know I read the same book. I'm paying you to tell me something I read in a book 18 months ago??" The book was cheaper & had more insights.

ugg...

The love bucket thing was one of H & mine first discussion in Jan 07 when i told him how his anger & control issues were affecting me. I was so scared it took me 3 hours to get probably 5 sentances out and I think I had to write down 2, as I didn't want to verbalize them. Sort of silly thinking that if the paper told him, then he couldn't be mad at me for it. Not so much.

I had read about the love bucket years ago and tried to discuss it with him then. The analogy we use today with it (as it did seem to resonate with him after all, just not at the time)

1- Did I just kick your bucket and knock a bit of stuff out?
2- Did I knock your bucket over and is it all gone now?
3- Did I shoot holes in your bucket & not only is it drained, now you have away for repair?
3- Did I totally demolish your bucket so now you are hiding & rebuilding it?

Sometimes, now that I let myself 'feel', I have to stop and think is this a 1 or a 3? Because things seems to hurt so much again, I try and make myself think is this action he did or words he used really a bucket destroyer or am I just not used to the feelings?

I know that it is my 'choice' to feel that level of hurt, but as I said in a post earlier.. if my bucket is out there for him to fill up (the positives), it's also going to get knocked around as well (the negatives)

That bucket is new and it is tender and it is not very deep right now. I'm very, very protective of it as it has taken a lot of work to get it here and out in the open for him to 'see'.

silly analogies.. they seem to make so much more sense in my head than in type.