Where is the real me? What do I want?

[Purple]

Heh...d is asleep, dog is snoring. I have earphones in listening to some music that I bought today.

So why aren't you out partying?

[Purple]

I fiddled and fiddle with this as I didn't want to just copy and paste your suggestion but in the end it basically got down to the basics which was just as you said, so apologies for plagiarism but this is what I end up with....however, I'm still too chicken to send it. I'm meeting up with him for dinner tomorrow night, his birthday is Monday, we have mediation on Monday - am I just setting myself up for drama? maybe I should keep it for mediation? Am I just putting it off?


Subject Line: A Request.

Dear h,

On Thursday when I came home, I noticed that you had been in the house. I have to be honest, it made me uncomfortable that I didn’t know you were coming by.

I would appreciate if you would let me know beforehand if you need to come to the house unexpectedly. It is not a problem for you to come over as long as I know about it.

Thanks

[Purple]

[Purple]

ooh...I just realised I hadn't read the link you posted *trots off to click on the link now*

[Purple]

Ya know...the other thing is that it is Saturday night and he came to the house on thursday. It has taken me this long to a) realise that I actually have a real issue about this and, b) to (almost) do something about it, and c)now I'm still fretting over whether I should send the email or not! Who knows when he'll read it?

Why is it taking me so long to get resolved enough to do something? I think I am anticipating that he will react badly to it, which in turn makes me pussyfoot around, which p1sses him off regardless.

arrgghhh I feel so ...wussy! (rhymes with pussy but means chicken sh1t)

[sofaraway]

Purple, you my dear are a big ole worry wart...not a wussy....

Look, the fact that you have mediation on Monday, it's his Bday tomorrow, etc.... has absolutely no bearing where it comes to right and wrong for you. Shoot off the email. It is basic stuff and he needs to have boundaries. This one is not out of the ordinary. As you said, if you went into his apartment would he send you the same thing, only not so nice?

I think I am anticipating that he will react badly to it, which in turn makes me pussyfoot around, which p1sses him off regardless.

What is it they say about assuming??????


Ian

[Bridgestone]

Heh...d is asleep, dog is snoring. I have earphones in listening to some music that I bought today.

So why aren't you out partying?

what kind of music?

It's 10:30am.. the friends I usually party with on the 4th did the usual "3 day party with no kids on the houseboat" without us. They didn't do it last year.. because "they couldn't ever do it without us" .. I guess they got over that.

Did the fireworks with D, S, H last night at a lake about 1.5 hours away.. It was after midnight when I got home and after 2 before I finally let down enough to sleep. Great display.. one of the best I have ever seen.

I'm going to recommend a book to you that I have found very helpful to me. It's called "Letting go of Shame".

I asked in a post earlier this morning, what if you knew, none of the worst things you are anticipating would come true if you sent the email? Would you send it anyway?

I'll stay on the thread and we can 'talk' if you like.
Sure wish DB allowed PM's

[Purple]

brb...gotta go brush my teeth and no..h is not here (obscure reference to norty talk on different thread) *snicker*

[Purple]

Music is 'Wild: Bass Beats & Melody' Genre is...electronica I guess.

Will get to yer question in a sec.

[Purple]

I asked in a post earlier this morning, what if you knew, none of the worst things you are anticipating would come true if you sent the email? Would you send it anyway?

I'll stay on the thread and we can 'talk' if you like.
Sure wish DB allowed PM's

Yes I would send the email if I hadn't have been bitten so many times before for pussy footing around. Okay...I just sent the damn email okay!?

God...why do I have to make everything so frickin' hard? Send the email, don't send the email. Call him, don't call him. blech..

I'm going to recommend a book to you that I have found very helpful to me. It's called "Letting go of Shame".

I think I have heard of it. Who wrote it?

I bought DR as well as 'Loving Him without Losing You' the other day. I have a bit of an addiction to music, DVDs and self help books since about April (when I had a bit of spare cash and now it's spinning out of controooool...nah just jokes)

[Purple]

Purple, you my dear are a big ole worry wart...not a wussy....

Look, the fact that you have mediation on Monday, it's his Bday tomorrow, etc.... has absolutely no bearing where it comes to right and wrong for you. Shoot off the email. It is basic stuff and he needs to have boundaries. This one is not out of the ordinary. As you said, if you went into his apartment would he send you the same thing, only not so nice?

I think I am anticipating that he will react badly to it, which in turn makes me pussyfoot around, which p1sses him off regardless.

What is it they say about assuming??????


Ian

ummm...it makes an ar5e out of u and me?

I've sent the email now...time to develop my own backbone though I won't turn down the assistance

And also, like YOU said, if I had gone to his place (if I had a key, which I don't) without saying anything to him even if it was warranted (which it wouldn't be!) I would have been carved up 6 ways before breakfast the next day. At least, that's what I am ASSUMING he would have done!

Oh and yes....you are right, I am a worry wart.